A Gardeners Forum Forums Members History Forum Life 2006 Poetic Rhyme,add a line (Don't Delete Topic)

He's big and fat and looks real mean
His teeth are sharp and always seen
He scares my neighbor and his dog
even when laying still as a log
He snaps at them on demand
Yes, he is the ruler of my land

I like my gator, I really do
No more doggy landmines on my shoe!
I think I'll get a couple more
next time I'm at the electronic pet store

I'm a friendly person, I try real hard
Although some people think I'm a crazy wild card
What would you do if this happened to you?
If your shoes don't answer and your feet smell too?

I'm built upside down,
Or so they say;
My nose runs
And my feet smell most days!

You're upside down, that makes me sad
We need some help here really bad




We've got the 8 foot mean green gator
Where or where is our friend Mater?

Just got back from next door, she must be a blonde
I caught her swimming in my green gators pond
My gator didn't move, she thought it was dead
I think she's got something wrong in her head

All the chickens are gone, neighbors dog has been eaten
I win, I win, My neighbors been beaten.
Now what to do now, my plan had only one glitch
I guess I'll make a Green Gator Sandwich
This reptile is so big I'll have for plenty later
This is how it went down, or my name is not Mater!

oh no! Not the gator!

Your gator was great,
For he saved your hide,
Now you make a sandwich
With poor gator inside?
And making some shoes
Just wouldn't be right,
If I were that gator
I'd give you a bite!
I think that it's wrong--
You lack gratitude
And some day you'll pay
With that attitude!

So my attitude, Ya think be lack'n?
but ON my chickens, he was a snack'n
Since dozens of my chickens, were fresh for his pick'in
Now the gators the one that I call finger lick'in!


Gator bags, Gator boots, Gator shoes, Gator loffies
My Taxidermist made his head into a trophy!

{Mater starts the background music to this sing-a-long}
{Pirate style sing-a-long}

Come one come all, there's lots of shade in the yard
And Jayhawk do us all a favor, since you are the wild card!
Swing over, grab ole Cindy so she won't be having a fit
I'll pick up some Jimmy Beam and a great big medical kit!

Now all my Garden friends will see this gator's finger lick'in
"I'll be darned" yall will say "It taste just like a chicken!"
So come all ye this lil' house, Come all friends from far and wide
I'll be grilling up this gator serving grilled veggies on the side.


Weezie stop to pick up Loz, tell her I have a PS2
Jiffy, with that bike you got you can have a roadtrip too!
Patty, Triss, and Bill, looks like a plane is what will get you here
I'll pick you up at Charlotte airport then we'll stop to get the beer!

Now all my Garden friends will see this gator's finger lick'in
"I'll be darned" yall will say "It taste just like a chicken!"
So come all ye this lil' house, Come all friends from far and wide
I'll be grilling up this gator serving grilled veggies on the side.


Angel, Tonya, Chenno, Penny......Gmom, Merme, Jimmy, Wrennie!
pepper, spring, Harley and Karrie.....My ole place will soon be Scary!!!
Patches, John, Princess, Christina, If I missed your name, I didn't mean'ta {hold the high note}

{Now sing it with me}

Now all my Garden friends will see this gator's finger lick'in
"I'll be darned" yall will say "It taste just like a chicken!"
So come all ye this lil' house, Come all friends from far and wide
I'll be grilling up this gator serving grilled veggies on the side.


So swing over and grab ole Cindy so she won't be having a fit
I'll pick up some Jimmy Beam, and I have got the medical kit!
So come all ye this lil' house, Come on friends from far and wide
I'll be grilling up this gator serving grilled veggies on the side.


"I'll be darned" yall will say "It taste just like a chicken!"
Now all my friends will see that this gator's finger lick'in

"I'll be darned" ya'all will say "It taste just like...........{hold the high note}

A darned ole CHICKENNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!"


I hope you had as much fun reading it as I had writing it.

{scratching my head}

There must have been something in my coffee this morning.....

{scratching my head}

These posts have been forwarded to G.A.G --The Gator Advocates Group! They will be picketing in front of your house soon!!

That was absolutely hilarious!!!!!

Note to self:
***remember to go home and print these pages***

Mater,



Big thanks for the invite
We'll be by for a bite
I told you before that gator ain't tasty
perhaps I was just too hasty

Like chicken you say
well, have it your way
if those picketers come
go out and offer them some

BTW Those from Kentucky have bourbon to bring
I guess Jimmy Beam's what makes those in NC sing

Is this story ending today?
Does anyone else have something to say?
This story is great
the best one to date!

Oh, Mr Mator you are indeed and entertainer
I laughed so hard, after reading your post
I almost lost my morning toast

It tastes like chicken so you say?
But, I won't eat em anyway
You are so kind,to invite the gang
But did you kill him with a bang?

Oh, so funny,with the Beam and Medical Kit.
I thought for a moment,I was going to sh*t
You did it up big time, and made it all rhyme
But , killing a gator is indeed a big crime!
I will not report you,as I am not an old hag.
Besides if I am nice you'll make me a handbag

On that note Mr Mator, you made me smile indeed
I think your post is the new GF Creed..

Tell me another???anyone?

The Willy's were at a convention in town.
There were workers and gardeners and even a clown

Their King had arrived that very day
They all wanted to know what he had to say

was it good news or bad?
was it happy or sad
or Could it be he' taken a wife.
No>>> That can't be!
He pledged on his sword
No wives again in his Life.

Well, lets see, I must ponder this down
A willy, a gardener and even a clown?
What did this king say, without a sword
You bend your knee, I am a lord

I think he said as he looked away
I am the king, as this I shall stay'
I have no need for all this strife
so I ask you? why a wife

We don't know why he came to this region of Kingdom he reins
It was unannounced , quite a surprise,But When HE speaks it's not in vein.
The children giggle , men straighten their back, and women bow with grace
One feels so blessed to have him here when you look upon his face.
The King of Willey's he's known to all
His wisdom we all need.
He gave us this land to grow our foods
our flowers beauty be.

The trumpets are sounding, the jesters abound
the clowns are all juggling as we gather around.

in comes King Willy, his beard is of snow
he's about to speak, we're eager to know

the goat herder yells out of the crowd
My king have we a new Queen, make us proud

The king speaks in his royal tone
no queen for me I must be alone

You know a wife is forbidden to me
Because I've had my limit of three

My wives were all lovely, pretty, and nice
They never got mad and weren't covered with lice

My news is great news, I'm happy to say
Tomorrow the tax laws will all go away

I hear the trumpets and the jesters sound
Those clowns and there juggling hang in the background
Oh, Mr WILLY, with his wisdom and know
Choosing a wife, how shallow you go

What can you offer a wife with no lice
Will you be charming and witty and nice?

Ahhh, yes,no taxes is nice My LORD.
But can you give me a life afford?
I would, be your wife
If you could say/
All my troubles, would go away...

My Dear, said the King, as I stated before
a fourth Queen is forbidden in our Kingdom's lore

I'd bring a great threat if I ever did
The wicked fairy Queen told me that as a kid
She said I'd be sorry if I chose a fourth queen
and as we all know she's really really mean
She said that four queens is way too greedy
and that no King should ever be so needy
She promised a plague, a drought, or much worse
and that I'd be carried home in a hearse

Your offer is kind, it must come from your heart
but as your great king I must do my part

Oh The Grand King, who's wife is a host
Nothing more than a kings right arm host...

The mother in-law stood up to the stand
And made some big changes to this great land.
I, think the great king has met his game
As the mother in law , will put him to shame.

As you well are aware
The mother in law will give you a scare;-0

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