A Gardeners Forum Forums Members History Forum Life 2005 COFFEEHOUSE XXXth OLYMPIAD

Hey everybody ~

The Coffeehouse Games Have Begun!

Welcome to the Opening Ceremonies...

Merme

Merme--
When I grow up can I be as creative as you???

Oh pc, you crack me up!



So what's your poison? Hurdles, gymnastics, track, swimming? Sitting in the stands cheering?


Merme

Hurdles, gymnastics, track-- I'd break my neck--swimming--I'd sink like a rock--Sitting in the stands cheering?I'd probably get splinters!!! Oh well-- I think I'll pass on the sports. But I like to WATCH the figure skating sometimes.

Come to think of it-- I'm more likely the one to volunteer to work the whole time in the conssession(sp??) stand!!!

So I take it you aren't into the Summer Games?

When Maxi was very small and we'd be watching the figure skaters, he'd get two of his cardboard oversized bricks. He'd put them right in front of the TV and stand up on them, one under each foot. Then as the skaters did their performance, he'd stand there trying to imitate their arm motions. It was adorable and I loved watching him do it!

By the way, there is always SHOPPING at the Olympics!

Merme

I'll opt for that then!!!

**So I take it you aren't into the
Summer Games?**

Nah-- Its baseball in the summer IF I have to have sports at all... I'm not a sports fan. I prefer mystery tv or cartoons.

Mysteries?!

Now you're talking!!

Which are your favorites?

Merme

Ahhh...figure skating!
That's ME!

Back in my younger days :rolleyes: I was quite the ice princess! Actually, it hasn't been all that long ago when I put the skates back on and hit the big pond out at the farm.

Loz - Gold Medal Olympic Shopper!

ANY OF THEM!!! I search channels to find anything that comes close to mystery or detective shows. I love a good whodunnit!! When I can't find one I watch cartoons with Ally.

I don't care much for the true life crime scene stuff... Guess living with a lawman I hear about too much up close and in person.

Morning all Merme count me in for Archery,Rifle,Skeet,Hand gun trials and the fishing tournaments. Pc if you lived here you wouldn't leave your mower under a tree when you came back it would be gone you would be lucky if the tree was not stolen. They break into garages and steal lawn tools and leave other stuff alone. Hope everyone has a good day cool here only 82 so far got everything watered and fed as in animals now have to go to feed store for dog food as I don't feed the junk they sell in most stores mine is organic chemical free dog food made in Muenster Tx. Its called Muenster Natural.
Jimmy

afgrey, I can see it now:

"loz, going for the gold! And she's off! Will she be able to beat her best time? Shave .10/ 100ths of a second by the 6th round? Will she come under budget with the most loot?"

Listen to the fans roar!

loz, takes the gold!



Merme

JV-- that's the ONE thing I love about this small community. Not much of that-- and my neighbors on both sides of me are really super about watching out for things. There are 3 houses right next to each other in our little place out here in the country and I'm in the middle. So between my fence, Molly, and one of my neighbors being the local Sheriff I don't have much to worry about!!!

Merme-- you're hilarious!!!!

JV, got cha covered my buddy! You're on for skeet, archery, fishing, rifles and hand gun trials! You'll do us proud, I'm sure!

Glad it is a titch cooler in your part of the world. It is STEAMING here today...we're climbing up out of the 70's into the 80's and they are predicting 90 before it stops.

I'm in a panic!

Merme

Merme--
Sweetie--you'd never make it here in MS. We have 80's & 90's in December & Jan. at times... And its ALWAYS humid!! That's why I don't care for it to snow here on the rare occasion that it does--because it very quickly turns to nasty, ugly slush!!!

pc, that's what happens when I stay up half the night slaming coffee. I get slap happy; everything seems funny to me.

My mom used to call it "punch drunk".



Merme

oops, gotta run! My attendant is finally here.

Merme

See Ya!!!!

Afgrey-- you still here???

Not supposed to be real hot here today only 98 we will see. Pc I know what you mean about the rare snow fall becoming nasty slush. If we get anything is an Ice Storm about once every four or five years shuts everything down for a few days. Our weather here is about the same as yours is. I had a heavy coat gave it to my son in Hastings, Ne. I don't even own a heavy coat levi jacket is good enoungh for our cold usualy.
Jimmy

Morning all,

Got my half decaf Folgers here- on my second cup - not working yet...had a sleepless night last night but Dr gave me some Allegra D to fix my ears and I took it-- knew better but was desperate for the pressure in my ears to go away... anywho.... it makes me anxious, agitated and ready to jump out of my skin- so won't take it again- good news is my ears are more open - less pressure so now I can use the spray stuff - it doesn't do that to me--- good thing I don't have kids this week - would not be a good thing... other Nana has them today- and Fri- we are going over though so hubby can fix the broken door on their entertainment center-- SIL can fix and build a computer but fixing things is not his thing and it needs to get done..LOL!Have to go after the kids are a gone though so the 2 yr old doesn't cry for Papa- he made himself sick the other day when Papa left - cried so hard he threw up--- made Papa decide he would never do that to him again if he could help it..
Well I will be in the stands cheering for out Olympians--- unless you have a cooking catagory, only one I could compete in.... not much into sports either-- guess the short dash would be one though - do chase the 2 yr old a lot....

We are going to have another hot day today too- they say over 100 at he airport-again- my deck was that yesterday easily--- my flowers all look tired - we keep watering but it dries out so fast with this heat - the roses my daughter gave me have taken off now though - they grew about 8 inches in a week... and have a couple buds- will be nice to see the colors--
Well off to the shower and to the kids- will be strange to be there without the kids - only way hubby can fix things though-- he is also going to play phone man and put in an extension by her laundry area- it's in the basement and never fails- phone rings and I never make it all the way upstairs before it quits-- and always forget to take the portable down with me...

Good morning, Nana ~

Got my attendant out the door on some errands and snuck back here for a bit.

Glad to see you this morning, kid, and glad to know your ears are improving. I've been concerned.

Let's see....for you to participate in the Olympics....

There is the dash or sprint, as you suggested, and there is the discus -- I bet you could throw cinnamon muffins and rolls!



You could also be a Judge!

"And here is Judge Nana from Colorado entering the arena with muffins for the entire panel of Judges! Folks, how DOES she do it? Prepare so much food for so many people at such high altitudes this early in the morning? ...Wait, I'm getting a live feed...they are banana muffins, they are blueberry muffins, they are peach and walnut muffins! Judge Nana has done it again -- she sprinted to the GOLD!!! Yeaaaaaa Nanaaaaaa!"



Merme

Wanted to say good morning here even though I already posted in the now closed coffeehouse. Not too bright yet this morning, getting there though.

LOVE the Olympics, swimming is my thing, gymnastics too but will watch it all!

Oh Merme.... You are so good for me! I am laughing so hard my hubby came in to find out what I was doing.....

And the secret to all the diff muffins is baking ahead and freezing in foodsaver bags- have even been known to freeze them unbaked and then thaw and bake for that warm out of the oven taste-

Turned out my ears problem was the trip up the mountains last month- not water in them as I thought- teach me to think...LOL- even though I haven't had any allergy symptons when we came back down from 10,000 ft my ears didn't equalize right cause my estuchian tubes swelled- fluid was caught behind the swelling and they just got worse when I helped dd clean out her dusty basement- never felt like I needed to take any allergy stuff - so that didn't occur to me- just affected my ears and boy has it been fun getting rid of it-- meds to weird things to me so have to watch what I take - Dr knows this so gave me samples and said it nothing else works time will- just dont' go back up till it clears up... or it won't get better.... does feel some better today though - not as much pressure for sure... just the feeling I need to jump out of my skin for the Allegra D.... hate that feeling.

I'm on JV's team. Love to shoot at things lol.

You know nana that sounds like fun. An olympics for household CEO's. I mean why should the atheletes have all the fun. I think a grandma's catagory would be loads of fun. With cooking, and crochet, and gardening, and canning/perserving/drying, and planning family reunions and holiday events that make the memories that last a life time. All the really good stuff.

Allergy med wired is no fun at all. At least some of your pressure is relieved, that is a good thing! Hope it is 100% better soon!

So when you freeze unbaked muffins, do you use the muffin cups? or freeze directly in the pan and then flip them out into a freezer bag?

I'm with you TK.... Grandma/Nana olympics
can just see the games now--- just planning Christmas is an event all to itself around here...
Nana

Hi Triss,
Yes freeze in the muffin cups then dump out into a bag - usually make at least 2 different kinds up and make a variety bag up- that way everyone gets what they like- a friend uses the silicone pans and freezes in those and no cups but my kids like the cups- and I am to cheap to invest in new pans- have 4 big ones I use - had forever- like over 30 yrs.......
I can ususally get away with adding some shredded zuchinni-wheat germ - apples or carrots shredded to most of them and no one is the wiser- good for my veggie hating grandsons..LOL!

Going to have to try that next time I bake. I do most of my baking on cold winter days and have frozen bread but never unbaked muffins. Would be great for those summer days when I want fresh baked goods but dont want to do all the prep in the heat.

"The crowd goes silent as the swimmers approach the pool. In the third lane is Triss, the undaunted mother of six hailing from Nebraska...

...she seems calm at her first Olympic appearance...

and they're in the water! Triss, in lane 3! Look at her go! Running after all them babies has made her incredibly strong! And she's ahead by a half length, by a length, by two lengths! Nobody will catch her now!! And it's the GOLD! Triss has won the GOLD!

...as she climbs out of the pool, hugs from what looks like a fan club of Munchkins. It's her children, surrounding Gold-Winning Mom!"

Merme

Definitely Christmas event would be a big one. But it is so much fun. I love decorating for christmas. It's crazy I know when it is just me but I can't help it.

Thank you, thank you to all my wonderful fans and friends. Without your love and support I would have never become an Olympian. I dedicate this Gold medal to all of you!

Dang...I finally made it back.
My computer is acting up for some reason...super slow, and will NOT change pages!

I think maybe someone added a spy program to it while I was gone yesterday...

...well, I hope he gets his eyes full if he did!
I've got some emails I'm sure he'd be quite interested in!

I wonder if you can still find those chocolates that were wrapped like gold coins around anywhere? I think they would be great christmas gifts this year for all the Gold Medal Winners.

TK,
I buy them every Christmas for the stockings... so yes you can- I find them near the Kosher stuff... in the grocery stores... but sometimes on the candy aisles too- you can freeze choc candy too-- just wrap it really well!

Hey...I saw something back there about grated-up zuchinni.
Man, I put that in everything...
...chili, spaghetti sauce, lasagna, potato soup, meat loaf...
...EVERYTHING!

...and grated carrots, too.

Thanks Nana I'm going to be looking for that. I can have so much fun with little things like that.

potato soup yummy that sounds good. Mashed potato soup with cheddar cheese and a sprig of mint sitting on top as a garnish. I think it must be time to eat lol.

Yum,

potato soup sounds good. So does Broccoli cheese, Allrighty ladies and gents, I need good recipes for both of these ones.

And now JV from Texas steps to the line. JV has already taken three Golds in this XXXth Olympiad and is trying for his 4th in Archery. It has been amazing watching this desert coyote hunt down his rewards at these games with one Gold after another. They say his performance is so spectacular from all his years tracking rattlers down the Rio Grande into Mexico to catch his supper. They say...

...wait, he is testing the string on his bow. They say he pulls a powerful amount of weight for bow tension. The crowd is holding its breath hoping for the favorable hint of a breeze to nudge that arrow home.

And he shoots! And he scores! And it's A BULLSEYE! The crowd is insane! They are jumping! They are hugging! They are crying! Bea-u-ti-ful shot, JV! Let's watch it again in instant replay....

And he shoots! And he scores! JV has taken his 4th GOLD medal of these games! He will be going back to the desert draped in pure Olympic Gold...

Merme

Sneaky, good one!!! I make my own muffins because the ones in the store are so huge. Nobody should eat a muffin that big. Otherwise I would buy them. I am not really fond of baking. But I still keep the cookie jar full for the grandkidlets. I get the bakery cookies not the packaged kind.

I love the swimming events. I used to be on a swim team many moons ago. Many many many many moons!!! Wonder if they have body surfing events??? Sort of like the winter luge but down a chute of water instead and no sled of course. Yeeeeehaaaaaaa.....

Hey triss.. I was just playing catch up on the other 2 coffeehouses, and saw what you said about just throwin the kids in, and practicing strokes, etc..

WELL.. I have a certian 105lb. 10year old who is petrified of the water, and if you get her in there, she will have a death grip on you that you can't get her loose. So, I'm hoping she gets more comfortable in the water this next 2 weeks, and is able to relax, and maybe learn to float. Marissa is doing ok. She thinks she can swim, but she's mostly treading water. But hey, that's a start. She treads a few seconds, goes down, comes back up, treads, down, up, repeat..

Aww--I'm sure the 2 of them will be swimming in no time!!! Although when I was 10 I got sent by the school to swimming lessons(everyone did), and I was TERRIFIED.....LOL

And yep Cindy and Merme...I'm sure I'd get the Gold Medal for shopping, now that's my kind of sport!!!!!

Haven't done too much yet today...still digging more stuff out for the yard sale at moms on Saturday...making signs.....I can't seem to wake up today.....

Great pics of the girls Meg. My friends kids were like that as well thanks to their momma. She left them with mom and I one day and I took them both and jumped in the deep end with them. Once they realized that they werent going to drown, they got used to being in the water. By the time their momma came home they were both playing in the shallow end. Of course she about flipped when I told her what I did.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Outdoor Track of this XXXth Olympic Games. Today we are featuring a new event for 2005 -- The Quad!

Representing West Viriginia is Meg, housewife and mother extraordinaire. Seated on her Polaris Phoenix Meg seems diminished by the size and power of that beautiful blue machine with the metalic flecks sparkling in the sunlight. She takes a pull of water from the jug, adjusts her helmet and kisses her family bye bye...

Caution, Meg uses Caution driving up to the starting line. Listen to those engines as all the drivers rev to go, waiting nervously for the starting round....

And they're off! The first stretch of track is dry dirt and see those clouds of dust! Running down the hill they hit the water hole with a mighty splash! And Meg comes UP out of the hole and goes roaring up the next hill and over the logs and around the bend!

She's not holding back on the accelerator now, folks, she is running wide open all sheets to the wind.

And she crosses the finish in a wave of dirt flying out to either side and it's GOLD! Meg has won the Gold!

Merme

And now, a solemn moment here in the XXXth Olympiad Arena as the athletes prepare themselves for first ever competition in the new Christmas Event.

tkhooper is approaching the start-up. Each athlete will compete in three rounds...The Christmas tree Event, The Wreath Making Event, and The Christmas Baking Event. Points are awarded by....

Let's listen in

tk is moving quickly now to her bare tree. Folks, she has five minutes to string those lights, 4 minutes to hang the balls and 3 minutes to add her own personal touches, demonstrating the creativity of the true athlete.

And the lights are on! Look at them glow!

And the balls are on! Oops! One just fell to the floor smasshing into a million bits! How much of a penalty will she take in points for that? Oh, wait! Out of her pocket she pulls a spare ball and hangs it in place! NO PENALTY FOR TK!

And as her special touches go up, the crowd can't hold it's silence any longer. They are on their feet! They are cheering! They are chanting! Go TK, GO TK, Go TK!

And she sits down, her tree completed. The other athletes finish their tasks as the Judges take a careful stroll around the trees.

Holding up signs now....and tk gets a perfect 10! She's on her feet again! A 10! A 10!

Stay tuned during this commercial break, after which we will bring you back to the arena for the last of the Christmas Events for this evening.

Tk looks like one happy competitor.

Merme

gee...I wonder if I'll get a gold medal in skating. Given the added degree of difficulty...trying to keep a parrot attached to my shoulder while guzzling a bottle of Beam...might be pretty interesting.

Meg...
When Rachel opened her pool after getting moved into her new house, Brennan was absolutely TERRIFIED of the water. Jeremy took him out into the 4 feet, and he went balistic...screaming and clinging to Jeremy.

One week later...

He dives off the diving board now.

By the time her lessons are finished, she'll be swimming like a fish!

Cindy

Oh merme, you sure got a way with words! LOL. Me, a quad racin mama!

Cindy, that's so cool about Brennan! I sure do hope they will be swimming like that in the 2 weeks of lessons. (I paid $160 for them for 10- 30 minute sessions each! $40 each kid, each week.) UGH. Of course, I'd be happy if Alex would just loosen up & learn to enjoy it more. She is just so scared! But, she did LOVE it when they put the lifejackets on all of them today, to go the length of the pool.. she did it all by herself that time! When they were just using the noodles, she clung to the wall & the instructor all the way down. :rolleyes:

Meg

Mornin all...OOOPPSS!!! Good afternoon all.... :rolleyes: Been on the phone all morning with the school I found for the PEANUT! (update posted in yet another plea thread)finally got a minute to take a BIG breathe! Gone through the foldgers like water this morning....now I am zippin! All 3 kiddos down for a nap..WHEW! Catchin up on the forum olympics... Kinda made me want to get some popcorn!!!!
I need to be working outside but the inside need attention also...so HHHmmm...what to do?

Nana made me want some zuchinni bread....so gotta run check the garden to see if I can make that happen. Hope you all are stayin cool, it is pretty darn hot again today...and HUMID!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Herr and Frau, Senor and Senoritas, welcome to the Ice Event!

Tonight, for the first time ever, we are presenting the newest, bestest and greatest configuration of the skating venue. Tonight Only! A combination of Figure Skating and Speed Skating! That's right, folks, our athletes will be speeding and figuring simultaneously to the musical selection of their choice.

Stepping to the ice is our Kentucky athlete, Cindy Jo Bob Pearl Lucy Madonna Henrietta aka Afgreyparrot! Notice her costume sparkling in 27,000 colors! Notice the stuffed parrot sewn to her shoulder!

No, Wait! That's no STUFFED bird! That a real live parrot! Hold on, please, I'm getting a live feed from the ice floor. The bird's name is LOLA and it IS an afgrey parrot!

As Afgrey steps onto the ice, we hear the opening strains of....Santana! And look at this girl go!

Double Axle! Triple back flip! Figure 8's galore! Lola the parrot never misses a trick, clinging tightly to afgrey's shoulder even when upside down!

Oh notice! The Judges are laughing -- they can hear the bird talking! um, er, swearing!

Coming now out of her triple toe loop, afgrey crouches into the stance for the speed feature of her performance. The music changes now, folks. It is "The Fastest Rap" by Bone, Thugs In Harmony.

She is gathering speed listening to that crazy beat! The bird is flapping her wings! What's this?

Afgrey pulls a bottle out of her waistband and takes a drink. It is water! No, it is Gatorade! No, folks, it is Jim Beam!

She is flying now! Round and round she goes, and where she stops NOBODY knows!

Well, everyone, she has stopped now! The scores are coming up...

For Performance
10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10

For Artistic Interpretation
10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10

For the bird
11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11

Afgrey has taken the GOLD! and, apparently, the bird has won something too....

Merme

Too Much Coffee When

You Know You Are Drinking Too Much Coffee When ...
You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.

You ski uphill.

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You lick your coffeepot clean.

You can type sixty words per minute . . . with your feet.

You can jump-start your car without cables.

You don't need a hammer to pound nails.

You don't sweat, you percolate.

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

Instant coffee takes too long.

When someone says. "How are you?" you say, "Good to the last drop."

You help your dog chase its tail.

This afternoon at the River Rapids Park, we will be bringing you live, that's right folks, LIVE! Our Body Surfing Event.

From the Idaho Boonies hails a crowd favorite, Fernie, otherwise known as Auntie Fern to all and sundry. She places her boombox on the bank of the river. She adjusts her suit. She shields her eyes with her left hand and steadily gazes upstream at the waters flow.

The crowd tenses, wondering when she will make her move? She's stepping carefully down the mud bank and onto the outcropping of rocks....the crowds race to the edge to look over the side...

She looks ready, folks. She crouches a bit. She tenses! See those muscles at the ready! And she is off! What a dive, oh WHAT A DIVE!

And there she is, coming up now and look at that arch in her back! Hands together perfectly extended, head tucked nicely, eyes fixed to the front as she sails over one wave after another! Oh what a show, ladies and gentleman, what a show!

The other surfers in the water can't hold a candle to Fernie! She soars atop the waves, she soars ahead and YES! It's GOLD for Fernie!

Fernie has won the GOLD!!!!

And by the way, fans, did you know this gal can also SING? You ought to hear her rendition of "Here We Have Idaho" catchy little number, that...

Merme

You may not be aware of this, folks, but feeding the several hundred thousand people that attend these Olympic Games is an unbelievable effort of speed, technical detail, quality control, fair pricing, and that's right: a winning smile!

Tonights Special Event is The Comissary! THE place where everyone goes to eat! Lots of hungry folks in the crowd tonight too. Being a fan doesn't make 'em forget food.

Stepping up behind Counter Number One is PCGRAV, from the Land of Cotton! Old Times There are Not Forgotten! But this girl can never look away, no sir, this girl has GOT to keep her eye on that hungry mob in front of her.

She takes an order for burgers and fries. She takes another order for onion rings and soda. She hears someone shouting for a chicken basket and a little kid crying for some Cotton Candy!

She calls the orders over her left shoulder then deftly reaches out with her right hand, never once looking back, gets the pass off from the kitchen, tosses those burgers and fries into the bag, rings 'em up, makes the change and her hand is filled again!

How does she do it? She burgers and fries are gone! The onion rings and soda are gone! Not a hair out of place, she hands off the chicken basket while reaching for the cotton candy and the little kid grins and the crowd is stamping its feet

SERVE 'EM UP PC, SERVE 'EM UP!

Her hands are a blur, moving at the speed of light and she's FINISHED!!!!

223,678,910 orders in five minutes, folks! PC has set a new world record while taking the GOLD!

Yea, PC! Fastest hands in the South. Biggest smile, too, I reckon.

Merme

ROFL @ Vanessa "to much coffee" post. Outstanding.

Personal touch christmas tree. Crocheted stars, bells, and angels. And the Marine Corps ornaments from every year since I enlisted.

Merme!!--

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you all BUT I couldn't have done it without my EVER FAITHFUL SIDEKICK--VANESSA!!!!!!

Merme are you sure your not the reincarnation of Howard Cosell? Sounded just like him. My medals look good on the wall at the homestead at the Bosque Redondo?
Jimmy

Why JV, your medals look GREAT there!



...wherever "there" is...



Merme

I just got a perfect 10 for rolling around the floor laughing!



...and Fernie bodysurfing!

...had to get a few more laughing graemlins out of my system!

Merme there is the Bosque Redondo helps to know a little history and geography of the southwest. The Bosque Redondo sat on the Pecos river near Old Fort Sumner in south central New Mexico it is about 84 miles north of present day Roswell of which you have all heard. It is where Kit Carson and the Calvery after they rounded up all the Navajo and Apache Indians as well as any others they could find. force marched them across Desert and mountain ranges to the Bosque Redondo the ones that lived were imprisoned there behind barb wire and Adobe walls to freeze or starve to death or get beaten to death if they did not do as they were told. This is also near the old Maxwell place where Pat Garret shot billy the Kid and he is buried near by. I was raised at the modern town of Fort sumner which was an Army Airbase during the war as well as a German pow camp. It is 105 miles southwest of Amarillo Tx. hope this helps.
Jimmy

Thanks, JV! I love geography but for the life of me couldn't place the name in my head! (or on a map, for that matter!)



You were sweet to fill me in.

Merme

Ok, now I be wondering what sort of an Olympic event would a Jiffymouse and a duckie be doing?

Do ya think they'll want to play?
Any ideas?

Merme

Merme Duckie could enter cat chaseing event to keep cats out of her Catnip garden. and Pc could try and keep crazy K-9 out of her garden and from eating her flowers and laying on her marigolds. Bet you will be glad when I go back to work huh?
Jimmy

I think discus is a good choice for Jiffy!! As for Duckie-- hmmmmm....

Olympics and a history lesson, what a wonderful day here in the coffeehouse!

And now that I am all dried out from my swim, I have been commissioned by the Coffeehouse Olympic Committee to present a very special GOLD medal to our announcer extraordinaire.

This medal is presented to you Merme for your wondrous feat of announcements with flair and pizzazz. Never in the history of the Coffeehouse Olympics has a medal of such honor been awarded and in my humble opinion, never again will one be awarded.

A big cheer from the crowd for our color commentator Miss Merme.

And the crowd ROOOOAAAARRRSSSSS...

There is an awesome hush in the XXXth Olympiad Arena tonight, Ladies and Gentlemen, as the athletes prepare to compete in the Speed Reading Event.

The stacks and stacks of books are at the ready, the easy chairs are drawn up alongside, the reading lamps have been lit and now here come the athletes! Loosening their necks and shaking their shoulders, flexing the fingers and limbering up those wrists! I see a few nervous newcomers polishing up their glasses oh and wait!

Here comes Jiffymouse, the fastest reader on the Continent! With a nom de plum like "Jiffymouse" you know this world class athlete is gonna be FAST!

The librarians are raising the flags as the last of the readers takes a seat. The flags go down, and athletes grab the top book of their stack and ohmyGOD the race is on!

Pages turning to the left! Pages turning to the right! Oh my goodness, have you ever SEEN such a sight?!

And there's Jiffymouse, look at her go! Ten minutes down and there seems to be 400 books in her "Finished Stack". How those fingers can fly! Look in the close up, her eyes are going so fast but she doesn't seem to move a muscle! Have you ever seen such reading posture? Have you ever seen such grace?

OH NO! SHE DROPPED THE BOOK! GET IT, JIFFY, GET IT!

The crowds are on their feet ignoring the librarians sh-h-h-h! There is a mighty roar of approval as Jiffy swoops down to get that book, her glittery black evening gown showing this fine athlete to distinction.

The clock is ticking! The pages are turning! Hold on to your seats and it is...

GOLD!

Jiffymouse has won the gold! I believe that is a new world record, ladies and gentlemen, 9,732 books in 76.44 minutes!

There's not a dry eye in the house tonight, folks, as Jiffymouse climbs the podium to receive her medal. This Garden Helper Fanatic Reading Fanatic Family Fanatic is Fantastic!

Go-o-o-o-o-o-o Jiffy!

Merme

Ah Triss, you're making me

I'm actually surprised I didn't get the "Insane" award!



Merme

There is no insanity here. Or we all are, cannot figure out which

Merme, you gonna have a LOT of competition to win that one!

I am sitting here trying not to pee my pants I am laughing so hard! Merme you deserve at least 2 gold medals for commentary..... JV you are right I heard her deep voice with a cadence just like Cosell in my head while I was reading...

Well did my good deed for the day or week- hubby went and hung a phone in the basement at DD's - so while he was doing that I cleaned and dusted - vacuumed- loaded and ran the dishwasher- sorted the laundry and took it down to the basement- put some folded clothes away too-....
he also got the piece of wood the kids broke off the wall unit glued on- we will go back tomorrow so he can hang the door up again...
She is going to be so suprised! You can get a lot done without the kids being there...LOL!
I add carrots to most everything too- and zuchinni too when I can get away with it-- does help with getting some vitamins in the kids.

Merme face the facts. You have out Coselled Cosell Harry Carey of the Cubs could not compete with you. It has been decided by all that you are the best of the best in broadcast journalism(sp) let alone print.
Nanas 11 are you ok TV just said 102 in Denver stay cool. Triss just saw an article on TV about the amphibicar up at Hasting's. I have seen this car before but still would love to own it. They were showing it at a lake up there.
Jimmy

Hi JV,

We are fine- got the cooler on high- and am actually comfortable... they just said on the news it was 107 downtown- 109 at the airport- I won't go out tonight till sun goes down-- so will be awhile before I go out- more time to play here..LOL! It's probably around 100 right now in the yard- just like hubby likes it.. he can take the heat.
May have to set up the kids pool in self defense if this keeps up, hubby is afraid it would kill the grass but it is brown anyway - no matter how often we water - may as well have fun ...

A gold in body surfing and I can sing too! Wow Merme, you are the comic writer/announcer of the century. You ought to get several golds just for making people believe I can actually sing!

So Afgrey, how's the old shoulder after Lola hanging on even upside down?????

And PC, way to sling that hash. Oh and Tammy, whatta tree, I just know you aced the other events.

Nana...You all got loads done today! I'm for the pool. We always kill of a good section of grass with ours but the kids get so much joy out of it that it is well worth the effort it takes to keep it up and clear.

Jimmy... I haven't seen that. We really only have a small puddle for a lake, compared to what I consider a lake. Will have to take a look at the late night news and see if I can catch the story.

I got a call today to help with the nursery at church for the monthly business meeting. They always seem to have trouble getting someone to work over the summer so I am off in a bit to go have fun with other peoples kiddos for a while. The only thing I am not liking about it is having to go out in the heat. It is wicked out there today.

With any luck, I will be able to catch up with the Olympics later this evening, if not I will see you all with the sun in the morning.

I am for the pool too Triss- now to work on hubby - boys would love it for sure-- me too- would get in with them...LOL!

Well my week off just took a dump- Carrie called and they want her to work tomorrow, at 6 - means I need to be at her house at 5.... boy what I do for my kids! but I will still be off Friday- so that will work...Nana J can't do it tomorrow cause her hubby has a Dr appt-
Joe just went to get a take and bake pizza for dinner- we dont' do that often but sounds good tonight- to hot to cook- and we grilled last night-
Have a good evening all- going to bed early tonight- if the pills ever wear off- still feeling kind of extra energized-- ears are better thougth!

Stay AWAY from the airport!

Yes I surely will- it it about an hour away from us anyway- out on the flatlands as my grandma used to say--
Hubby says our thermometer on the deck still says it's 100* .... hmmmm thinking will have icecream sundae for dessert..... any takers for some?

well, merme, i beat my own best record now, to keep the heat from killing me too! i'm not looking forward to this months electric bill, the a/c has been on non stop

me nana! i'll take one!!

Jiffymouse my a/c never goes off even in the winter only a day or 3 at the most gets cold enough for it to go off. When is really cold keep heat on 50. Don't normally have to worry about that.
Jimmy

Got strawberries- raspberries and or choc fudge and french vanilla ice cream--- got whipped cream and marachino cherrys for the topper too- help yourself - oh yes have bananas too if you want to make it a split instead----
hmmmmm may make this dinner - still to hot to turn on the oven.....

make mine chocolate, banana's, whipped cream, and a cherry.... ummmmm ummmm good... i'm done!

I can contribute chocolate chip mint to the desert table if anyone wants that and I have some crushed walnuts too. And I think yes there it is the chocolate stuff that turns hard after it comes out of the bottle. (I just know that didn't come out right.)

I love that weird chocolate stuff.

Oh Cindy,

You don't even have to say it and I'm laughing and blushing lol. Snorting too.....

Graemlins ROCK, don't they?

@ Tammy quote You don't even have to say it and I'm laughing and blushing lol. Snorting too.....quote I have some chocolate mint as well as spearmint I can contribute. Make mine chocolate over chocolate.
Jimmy

Merme,I've been reading about all our great Olympians.

But no,I do not agree, "Howard Cosell"

In my minds eye you always sound just like Barbara Stanwyck.


btw,this duckie is a great swimmer.

Please don't lock down this topic before I get duckie's fantastic swim in! Coming right up!

Merme

Ladies and Gentlemen! Standing here at the XXXth Olympiad Missouri River Swim venue, we can see the remaining swimmers in their final approach! Folks these swimmers have been in the swim for days and are now in the home stretch...

...live via helicopter feed, we see it is, it is, it is DUCKIE pulling in front of the last clusters in the water! Look at her go!

Duckie is one amazing swimmer! She has swam past shifting sandbars! She has swam past trecherous snags that hooked lesser athletes in this astounding event! She has successfully cleared all the islands and the sloughs!

Nothing can seem to stop this Prarie Aster!

Look! Look! She is outdistancing the pelicans and the eagles! Here she comes folks, here she comes in what has got to be the biggest swim of the century!

Oh no, oh no! The foxes have spotted our duckie in the water...however will she outswim them? If they catch her, they'll eat her for sure! But look, she's gone into overdrive and slicing through the water leaving those eat 'er up foxes choking in her wake!

The crowd can't stand it, they are on their feet! They are stampeding the banks of the river cheering Duck-ie! Duck-ie! Duck-ie! as though she is the only competing athlete! She HAS won the hearts of millions with this brave and daring swim and here she comes!

It's duckie out front! It's duckie coming around the last bend! It's duckie by a mile!

SHE HAS WON THE GOLD! It's GOLD! Duckie has done it! Can you believe this swim? 39 miles of the upper and 59 miles of the lower reaches and this gal is surely one fine duckie!

....Making her way to the podium she is swamped by reporters and TV cameras, hundreds of journalists screaming their questions...can she get through?

She can! She has made it to the bottom step of the podium. Let's listen...

"duckie, were you afraid when the fox was after you? Think you might get eaten before you crossed the finish on this magnificient feat?"

Ladies and Gentleman, this seems to be a question duckie is taking! I'm getting a live feed...listen...listen...

"Why of course I wasn't afraid of the fox and kept right on swimming! Day-em, I don't have a regenerative head for nothing, ya know!"

The crowd has gone insane! They are cheering! They are laughing! She has won them all! They love their duckie!!!

What a moment, folks, what a moment in the XXXth Olympiad history!

Hands on your heart everyone, it is time for the National Anthem and this Olympic Correspondent to wish you all a happy Good-Night in these closing ceremonies.

Duckie! What a champion! What a breathtaking event to close these games.


G'nite all!

Stay tuned for a word from our commercial sponsers.

Merme

AFLACK! ! ! ! ! !

afgrey you kill me

I know, JV, I was on the FLOOR with that one by afgrey!



Merme

day-em...that is one fine duckie.


And no, I do not waddle!!!

I'm so glad I found this place. I learn stuff and get to laugh too!!! I am heading off with a cup of coffee to my bedroom porch serenity room. We have a very soft breeze and a temp of about 70. For some reason with hills and animals and the lowering sun, it just looks so perfect tonight.

Fernie 70 degrees at night? That would be considered winter like here. Good night all have a good safe rest I am hitting the hay will probably catchya in the 31st room. I have enjoyed the olympiad.
Jimmy

A heartfelt and very sincere THANK YOU to everyone for being such "Good Sports" (uhm...) and playing this Olympiad Game with me today.

So many of us here on the forum have seemed to go through such tough times lately, I really hoped to come up with something cheerful for this edition of the Coffeehouse which has traditionally been a very lighthearted thread in Banter Hall. I truly hope you found some laughs in all the stuff and nonsense.

Thanks everyone, for putting up with me today. You guys are the best!





Merme

:p :p :p :p Thank you Merme you are the greatest. Fooled you. You thought I had gone to bed and I was stalking the forum
Jimmy