If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is
even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work
... think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global
Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station
103.2 on FM dial in Ft.
Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
first must bore you with a few technicalities of my
job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to
the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So
what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a
garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn
good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when
I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the
back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like
working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to
it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what
I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack
of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the
dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber
dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but
my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't poop for two days
because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it
would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself,
"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
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