A Gardeners Forum Forums Members History Forum Life 2005 Afgrey's Turkey Hotline!

I'm not sure...what I've read so far, you're knowledge with cooking far exceeds mine Cindy. I would think you'd be the only one who knew what to do.

Christina

I'd have to ask,
how long has it been in???

Ok, here is a true, terribly whacky story about Thanksgiving Disasters In The Making from my own life that I thought you all might enjoy.

Back in 1984 I was newly married and working three jobs... way, way too busy. Insanely busy. But Thanksgiving was coming and I felt the typical compulsion to invite the entire kingdom to the feast.

In those days, I always invited college students, singles, people new to America... I'd fill my massive table with folks who wouldn't have a place to go otherwise. And we always had the BEST times.

And I always prepared a GIANT turkey, getting the biggest one available.

So this particular year I was running full tilt in my overly crazy lifestyle and COMPLETELY FORGOT that it was Thanksgiving until I woke up on Thanksgiving Day and remembered the massive Turkey was in the freezer and my house would soon be filling up with all kinds of hungry people!

Well, in a panic, I drug that bird out of the freezer, stripped the wrapper off, and shoved it (just barely getting it in) the huge, industrial size microwave I owned then. That humongous microwave had been a wedding gift and up until that moment I had only used it to heat coffee.

So I nuked that bird. Once it was thawed enough to get the giblets and wax paper out of the insides, I pulled 'em out, and kept zapping it.

Meantime, rushing about like a wild woman on speed, putting together every other part of the meal, the table settings, the decorations. I sent my husband off to buy pies because there was no way that was going to happen!

And right on time, as the guests arrived, that monster bird was actually cooked! From frozen solid to nicely done in 4 hours flat, courtesy modern technology.

Not a recipe I'd recommend to anyone, but still, it saved the day in my life Once Upon A Time...

Merme

Hey Melcon ~ when are you heading out to your mom's? It is now sleeting/icing up here...

Merme

See Coffeehouse

Too long!
Freckles enjoyed it...now the back-up ham is in the oven...along with the unruly turkey breast that keeps falling over on it's side.

Merme...the first turkey I ever cooked...I left the bag of giblets in it the whole time, and was totally amazed when I was cutting the turkey...and there's this plastic bag inside.


Lynne...I have a picture of something my dad and brother do at Thanksgiving to the turkey...if I can find it I'll PM it to you. Not suitable for the forum!

I'm sorry of your ham woe, afgrey. Hopefully #2 will turn out just as you desire...

Merme

Merme - that's what I love about you - you always have your wits about you! I bet that turkey was great!

Cindy - can't wait to see your picture - now you've got me wondering...

Hope your ham#2 comes out delish!
I've never had ham for the holidays - we are not Kosher, but it's just something no one does in our family. I'm gonna have to beg some of my non-Jewish friends to extend an invitation to us one of these days!

Well, my meal is done and I didn't even eat much of it.
Lola ate more than I did!
And, after all the ham trouble, I didn't even eat a bite of it. :rolleyes:
I don't really like ham too much.
But, the turkey breast was good!

Sometimes I feel like I'm on a different planet than the rest of you ...I don't get snow or freezing weather, & you're all off having your mid-day naps while I'm having breakfast. (Usually, I have The Gardener's Forum for breakfast!) Now, you people have already had your T-Day dinners, & it's not even noon, here! All your dishes will be done & you'll be hungry again, by the time we'll be sitting down to ours! (We're not eating until 4:30PST, because our son worked Graveyard shift last night, so we're letting him sleep in.)
Too bad you gave the "plastic ham" to Freckles... Me? I would have glazed the very dickens out of it & listened for compliments later, on the unique new flavor!!

At the same time you became a Martha Stewart Wannabe !
I figured that since you are under one year old you wouldn't notice...

CindySaucySusan...

posted one for you down in area 51!

Thats when I'll be eating Patty. You aren't on a different planet... WE are just of on the other side of it!

Lynne, dear ~ How about this?

Next summer you come up to Maine and visit ME and MAXI... we'll put on SUCH a ham feast for you as you've never seen... all the best bits.

And we'll do it for ya with no nagging, no criticizing, no bullying. Just a yummy feast just for you and whoever you feel like bringing along.

And when you can't eat another bite, and are too full to move, I will simply roll you out to the porch of wherever we might be living by then and put some soothing drink in your hand and let you dream into the sunset...

Howz that?

Merme

In case Catlover doesn't venture down to the games forum, I wanted to be sure she saw this here!

enjoy!

I love having you guys way out there in "no man's land" PST time... you are around when the wakefuls have me up....



Merme

Ooooooooh, Merme dear!

THAT SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN!

I might just have to take you up on that!

I'm usually lurking by 4 AM PST.... about the time most of the ESTs are starting to get their eyes fully open...
(Notice, I said MOST)

Hey Cindy,

is this acceptable if you run out of turkey?

Uhhh...Lola didn't think that was very funny!

Hey...I didn't say I KNEW anything about turkeys!
I just said you could ask me questions!

Well I am on EST and I lurk......well....um "prit near" 24 hours a day. Thanx Cindy...this thread has been the highlight of my day..makin' me howl. I'm bored..watchin' football, drinkin' beer....suffering from tinnitus....it's drivin' me mental!!! Oh yeah.....and completely jealous of everyone eatin' turkey today...maybe I'll open a can of chk soup..
Christina

Hey Christina

Here's another one for you -
and I'll gladly trade places with you for tonite -
really really do not want to go to my S-I-L's S-I-L's!!!