A Gardeners Forum Forums Members History Forum Life 2005 Dear dogs,cats and friends

This was sent to me from my sister. Hope you enjoy!!

Dear Dogs and Cats,
>
>The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other
>dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in
>the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your
>food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
>
>The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me
>to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
>faster than you can run.
>
>I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about
>this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
>comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It
>is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
>fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and
>having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but
>sarcasm.
>
>For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
>some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
>necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
>the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door
>I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years; canine or feline
>attendance is not mandatory.
>
>The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
>I cannot stress this enough!
>
>To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
>front door: Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain
>About Our Pets:
>
>1. They live here. You don't.
>2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
> (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
>3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
>4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is
> short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
>
>Dogs and cats are better than kids... they eat less, don't ask for money
>all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive
>your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink,
>don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your
>clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if they get
>pregnant, you can sell the children.

Not my day tried to post to this everything locked up first Mr. Bill turns off Electricity now he locks up my computer. sorry Mr. Bill I will try harder.
Phoenix when was your sister at my house? Just add Birds.Sugargliders and Iguauna's would sound just like my house

All my animals think people come to see them not me.
Jimmy

Oh, do I ever love that!!! How true is that?! If only my pets would understand how good they have it made. I'll run up to the corner store for a movie or muchies, or wutever and when I come home, it's as though they haven't seen me in years. You gotta' love them!

Christina

You just have to "let them know" Christina and the will av=ct accordingly

av=ct oops
act

I have alot of pets in the house also, and if people who come to visit can't deal with the pets, esp the dogs sniffing every inch of there cloths LOL...they need not come back, also don't lay your coat on the couch or back of couch unless you want a laying on it. And if you are afraid of spiders stay out of my computer room...I have a pet Tarantula...That keep alot of people from coming near my computer

i love it! but, i have to say, the cats took up the king size bed issue... and decided that if i HAD to sleep on it with them, they would sleep on me! yesterday morning, i had one cat on my chest, one on my stomach, and one curled up in my left arm (half on it). they were making sure i wouldn't make a move without them!!

lol! that is too kute and soooooo true! my cat will curl up on my bed and expect me to lay AROUND him and I do :rolleyes: (well he looks so kute and I don't wanna move him and wake him up! ) and then he'll lay right between your legs so you can't move them to lay on your side or something! but oh well I guess it's worth it when they come to give you kisses (right after they're finished licking their butts :p )