A Gardeners Forum Forums Members History Forum Life 2005 My quiet boy

Half day yesterday and today and no school tomorrow for the kiddos. We had parent-teacher conferences yesterday and they went fairly well. My 9 y/o daughter is doing great. My 6 y/o son is doing well, but................here's the comment from his 1st grade teacher on his report card:
"Matthew is extremely bright and I suspect gifted academically. He struggles however in writing and completing work. I am giving much thought to how best to help him this year."

Oh, how can I describe this kid for you? He really is an enigma. He is quiet outside of our home, he's so intelligent , he taught himself to read before kindergarten, or so it seems, I read to him all his life, like we all do with our kids and then all of a sudden he just was reading. Right now he's on 3/4th grade reading level. He can be quite stubborn sometimes and just refuse to talk or ask for anything and this is what is frustrating the teacher. I was pleasantly surprised by how much she knows about my son. We are thinking about calling in the special ed team and see how we should approach the problem. Reading : above level, writing : below level. Some of the comments on his report card:

W=skill is well developed
P=progressing
N=needs more practice

chooses to read W
listening comprehension P+
Reading comprehension P+
participates effectively in discussions N
chooses to write N
Writes with story language N
Math Above level
Math all P+ and W's

Personal development:
Easily motivated N
Follows rules P
Takes responsibility P
Respects and listens to others P
Has confidence socially N
Shares ideas N
Shows pride in work ? (yep, she put a question mark, this kid can have such a stone face and she has no clue how he feels) I had to tell her how much he loves school and likes her, she had no idea

What am I gonna do with him, I tell him all the time he needs to speak up , that he won't get anything in life if he doesn't ask for it! We had many talks last night and some ideas about what he could write about in his journal today, I hope some of it sinks in

Oh Mel...I think you might be surprised how much really soaks in. He sounds like he just has a quiet personality...
I have always heard...and it rang true with Darin, that if you can get your child to enjoy reading...they will learn more and retain more. Darin LOVES to read...always has..and he always did well in school. So you may be well ahead of the ballgame.

Thank you, Vanessa, I just worry about him getting lost in the shuffle, he's young, I'm sure he'll be fine

It's our job, I guess, as mothers to just worry about everything!

Aint it the truth!!! And you think it is gonna slack off a bit when you get your kids raised...and then along comes those grand babies!!!! :rolleyes:

My 17 yr old daughter was just like that-still is up to a point. She still does not like to talk in class-trys to aviod it at all costs. Rarely asks for help- preety furstrating. But she as all of us reads like it is air to us. She started writing down thouths. Now she is an amazing writer wtih very orginal ideas. Her teachers love her-she just marches to her own beat. And she is a honor student. What I am saying is that kids do develop at their own pace. He sounds like he is going to do just fine-at lest to me-he just is marching to his own beat. And absorbing everything around him. He sounds like a neat kid.

man I really need to use that spell check button or wake up before typing huh? that is pitiful!!

Melcon ~

I find it interesting that he was given all N's for anything to do with self-expression...

Discussions
Writing
Story Language
Easily Motivated
Social Confidence

And yet he got all P's on things that only require a display of information such as math and reading.

Is Little Mr. Stoney-Face SHY perhaps?

How many kids are in his class? Have you had a chance to visit during class hours to observe? If he's surrounded by a bunch of BusyBee Talkers, it could be enhancing his natural tendency toward shyness...

And yes, you are quite right: Mothers do worry. Even about other people's kids!!

Merme

Is his teacher rather young? It sounds like she's overly concerned about a kid who's only in first grade. Sounds like a great kid, by the way.

Thank you , Moondance! He is sure is a neat kid and he is just like a sponge, how much he soaks into that brain of his. It's so nice to hear about your daughter, from now on drums will be beating in my head every time he makes me want to pull my hair out and I'll smile

Oh, another thing...

if you think he is a shy kid but terribly bright, why not introduce him to some confidence boosting activities that require some showmanship?

Things such as

a magic kit to learn cool tricks
music -- instruments, singing or dancing
drama in which he gets to be SOMEBODY ELSE

see what I mean?

Merme

That's the only one that really held me up for a few minutes! LOL

That's what he tells me, I think it's a cop-out, but maybe I just don't understand, coming from a large family of cackling hens.

There are 14 in the class, and many of them rowdy boys, another way he is funny is that he is a very good boy and knows right from wrong (the world according to Mom) and although he doesn't preach it he is upset by the boys when they are being "bad"

Thank you, Pep! No, she's my age, mid to late 40ish, this year is her first year with first graders, though, she was a fifth grade teacher before. I think that he is just so different and she's probably never met a kid quite like him.

This is all such great feedback, one of the strategies I'm gonna try at home is some journaling on the computer since he is so comfortable with computers and electronics and maybe handwriting is hard for him because of a fine motor problem or if he can't do something perfect he'd rather not do it, self-esteem issue or perfectionist issue????

OOOOoooo , more great ideas from Merme! He does love music and did very well on his report card from the music teacher, I think I'll schedule a meeting with her to find out her take on Matthew. And the drama thing is an excellent idea, I bet he would "come out" as somebody else.

You guys are the best, I'm in tears here

If I were a quiet child suddenly surrounded by many rowdy boys, I might feel a bit overwhelmed by that.

And, I know what you mean about him knowing right from wrong and being taken aback by other kids behavior. Maxi used to look at me so wide-eyed when he'd see another kid act up, as though to say "Mom! Can you BUH-lieve it?!"

Your journal idea is fascinating.

Merme

Where does he sit in the classroom? He sounds somewhat like an introvert...and there's certainly nothing wrong with that. Anyways, if he sits around these loud boys and doesn't approve of their misbehaving, it would make total sense that he would be soo quiet. Maybe if he would sit closer to the more quiet girls??? It may help. Also, maybe there is someway his teacher could reward him when he volunteers his opinions and answers on something?? Maybe small somthing or anothers that he really enjoys getting??

She may not be quite in tune with the different age yet. I have a teacher in my room who is used to 3 year olds and my one year olds are a world of a difference!!! One thing that might help you understand where she is coming from is this...alot of school districts and states (if not all of them) require a teacher to do a developmental evaluation of each child in their room. I just got done with my first ones for the year. The paper lists specific questions for stages that your child's age group usually goes through and then there is a Yes box and a No box....no in between. I have a VERY introverted child in my class who scores very low in alot of the same areas, but he is right on track because I see him every once in a while with his mom outside of the classroom setting.

Good luck, and don't get too discouraged. I think the teacher is trying to do her job by flagging something that MIGHT be a problem down the road........but to me, it just sounds like your boy is quiet and extremely SMART!!!

When my middle son started kindergarten (at age 6) I requested a speach eval on the first day. 30 days later the teacher finally heard him speak and was able to make a referal. 6 months later the teacher told me he had acted up in class - I apologized and she said she was thrilled - it meant that he finally felt comfortable. He cried himself sick on the first day of school right up until 5th grade. His teachers came to love him and he was extremely bright and well liked by his peers.

The first few months of first grade are nothing to be concerned about - he just hasn't blossomed yet.