A Gardeners Forum Forums Members History Forum Life 2005 "When you're strange....."

This is too weird...
I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep last night worrying about the cow, so I said, "Is that your pasture of cows?"
He said, "One of them get out again?"

So, before I could stop myself, I said, "Yeah, one of them obviously went to Wal-Mart."


(Farmer with no sense of humor.)

I quickly explained that his cow was carrying a Wal-Mart bag...blah, blah, blah...and he says, "Well, where'd he get it?"

afgrey - "I don't know..."

Farmer - "Does it belong to you?"

afgrey - "No"

Farmer - "What's in it?"

afgrey - "I don't know."

Farmer - "Well, why are you telling me about it?"

afgrey - "I don't know. I just thought it was strange."


Obviously, it must not have been.

Had that been my dad he would have laughed. Eating garbage isn't exactly safe for cows. I get those days now and again. growing up we had a vehicle that everytime I got in it I had a vision of myself going through the windsheild. Scared me enough I never drove it. We sold the pickup and the person who bought it wrecked it but wasn't hurt bad.
I usually chalk those days up to too much sleep or a severe lack of sleep.
Nancy

Even cows shop at WalMart. No wonder it's always so crowded.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

hmmmmm.......cows in walmart

nevermind

Maybe she had to go pick up a quart of milk...

too ooooooo funny! all i could think of were those "eat more chicken" commercials! roflmao!

Speaking of Wal-mart...are yours all the same blue and red?? They totally repainted ours now it is a tanish shade with the big blue roofing over just the doors. And the tan is 2 tone...the bottom half of the wall is darker than the top. THEN the inside got an overhaul also!!! The wall were all painted tan and they put CROWN MOLDING (of all things!!!!) 3/4 of the way up the walls!!! They put in linolium that looks like wood flooring where the clothes are and they totally redid all of the grocery isles....so now I can't find a blasted thing. Its just soo.....soo......STRANGE!!!

I couldn't answer that question if you gave me a million dollars.
I have never noticed what color Wal-Mart was!

...guess I could run down the road and ask that cow.

The only person I would go to WalMart for is Jesus. It is way to crowded here and now that it's a super store there are people with 3 months worth of groceries in every line. I go to Target or K-Mart.

Funny, when I saw that line, the song started playing in my head. Now I can't get it out...along with all those voices.

Hey, I resemble that remark!

Way funny Mary. Have you guys ever heard of cow tipping?

I've heard of it - never done it. I grew up in NY though - but if I grew up here, you can bet I'd have been into it. Anything to get in trouble

Never done it either. Wonder how many people it takes to tip a cow.

Should I be afraid to enter the forum at this point????????

Dang! My mom called and look what I missed while I was
Do I need to Google that?

Well, cows sleep standing up....and normally in a field...and kids around here get bored, so you drive to the field at night and jump the fence and....well.....cow tipping

COW TIPPING....Hhmm...and I was thinkin people were driving by throwing money out at them??

My husband did it a few times when he was younger.....I guess he didn't think about the cow getting hurt....when you're young you don't think of that stuff...And Cindy....My theory on the walmart bag in the cows mouth is as follows....

Seeing such an unusual occurence would affect people different ways....For example, since you are a self proclaimed non shopper you thought of it as an omen to stay away from walmart....If it were me I'd be thinking it was a sign to go and fill some walmart bags with as much junk as I could...LOL Spoken from a true shopaholic. On my checks I just ordered I had them put: My name is Laura and I'm a shopaholic.

Oh, and most men would probably have the same reaction as the farmer you talked to...Why? Because men don't even think about shopping--it's a non subject to most of them. Although my brother is a man(at least I'd hope so) and he enjoys going shopping.....he's a weird percentage of the male population.

But heck yes, it's weird to see a cow with a walmart bag in it's mouth......I'd probably have stopped and tried to get my picture taken with it.....LOL My buddy the walmart shopping cow.

My w-mart 5 miles away is a supercenter and it's not too bad except on the weekends....the one they just built 20 miles away in the mall is a supercenter too, but it's twice as big as our supercenter...it's like a mega supercenter....and it's absolute you know what going in there! I actually avoid that one myself.

And yes, our walmarts are red and blue! I'm in there so much I have to notice the colors...they should great me by name and tell me welcome home when I enter the doors....I like going there because I put up gardenhelper cards on the bulletin board & they go like hot cakes.

Thank you all for this wonderful thread. My sides hurt from laughing so much!

Triss and Jenn both owe me a beer....

4Ruddy, that's great! What a mind. Cindy Lou, and I thought you were a woman of the world. Had to look it up. I say, if you're gonna sleep standing up you shouldn't be a heavy sleeper, as cows must be not to realize that a stranger is in the pasture with the intent on tipping them over.

I'll tell ya something stranger than the Wal-Mart cow that happened week before last when I went to the surgeon in Lexington.

I was driving the Avalanche, had the tunes cranked up...had no idea which CD's were in the changer, and hit #6. There was mix of songs I'd put on a CD for Andy when he went to Florida...everything from Pink Floyd to Ricky Skaggs. So, about the 3rd song was "Highway 40 Blues" and I was listening to it, and all of a sudden the traffic came to a standstill because of a wreck up in front of me. I turned around in the emergency place in the median and headed back north, figured I'd take the old road home.

So...while going through the town my brother lives in I stopped in at the music store he works at...and Ricky Skaggs was in there.

He was doing a concert there that night...in that town.

That was strange.

I have a MIND???? Can you see it...is it working????

Cindy Fay,

Here ya go Cindy

Cindy, did you stay and see Ricky? I like his music A LOT.

I think I see smoke coming out of your ears 4Ruddy. A sure sign that your mind is working.

I hate too but I've got to go to bed. Gotta get up early.

Ricky WHO?

I just talked to him at the music store for a little while. He and my brother were playing some music.

He's the second "recording artist" I've met at my brother's music stores. About 15 years ago I met Peter Frampton in my other brother's music store.

Now, Mary is gonna say...
"Peter WHO?"

No, I remember my OLD er I mean older brothers listening to Peter Frampton

Same brother that writes songs? So is Ricky gonna do any of his stuff???

Uhhh...NO!

But I'm not supposed to have 49 PM's in my box either!


(...and you know I'm just kidding about the PM's! I can pass any rubber glove test you wanna give me!)

Drugs are our friends!!!!

I better go check mine

Cindy Fay JoBob Pearl, I loved that story!!! Made me laugh and laugh. If I had seen that, I would have went home!! No way would I have went to a store that day if farm animals were heading out to Walmart or where ever. I probably would have went around a corner and seen a pig with a Kmart bag.

Yes...that's what the drugs keep telling me!

Ricky wasn't there to see my brother...they were just jamming a little, like people always do in music stores.

I think maybe is was raised around that town where the concert was...where the music store is...I don't know much about him...

He is pretty good. Country music, bluegrass.

wait wait, what's this about rubber gloves? I always miss the good stuff

ooops...I meant to say "White Gloves".
That's what I get for trying to talk on the phone and post at the same time!

...and drink.

Dag gum ya went and got my hopes up :p

You still explaining what ladybugs are?

No..I've had 3 phone calls since then...
...everyone in my family calling to see what the doctor said today.

...and don't get me started on Call Waiting...

Thanks alot....now I can't get that darn song out of my head!!! And it was my theme song years ago....

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange

I was just at the Wal-mart yesterday (1 hr drive to get there), so I make sure I get everything we need for the month. I pick up a butane burner for camping and the fella assures me that those are the right butane cans for filling, I bring it home and guess what? They are not.

So now I have to drive back there again this week (need it for the week end) and gas is up to $4.60 a gallon. Someone's getting a piece of my mind when I get there.

Sorry, I was in too much of a hurry to complain. Just pretend this goes with page 1, it makes sense then.

Cindy, love Peter. "Do You Feel Like I Feel"

Wonder what happened to his hair?

Have a good day. Gotta go to hell.

Sheri...
Sorry you have to go to that dreadful job.

When I was at boarding school when I was 16 they made us work 3 hours a day on the campus. My job was in the weaving room. (If you happen to own one of those old world famous handwoven rugs from Berea, Kentucky I might have been the idiot that tied the knots in the strings at the ends of the rug!)
Anyway...I hated that job so bad I would literally throw up on my way to the weaving room.

Tamara...
ANYTIME is a good time to complain about Wal Mart!


Cindy

That is so true Cindy...

Sheri, hope you find a new job soon..
Will make finding one, that much sweeter
when you do.. HANG IN THERE!!!!!

How did the Dr appt go?

It's still stuck......

People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked ( ) when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down

I can't believe I am remembering the words!

Fernie...
That song plays over and over in my head constantly!
No way to forget the words!

Oh, you know how they are...
...he said I needed a specialist that was more special than him.
So, I have to go the VERY SPECIAL specialist on the 30th...
:rolleyes:

Cindy, ask your doctor if he feels like you feel. Maybe he loves Peter too. (take that anyway you want)

Came home for lunch to let the dog out. Gotta go back. Didn't see any cows going to WalMart on the way to hell, but I did see some horses headed to Sears.

Well dang Cindy, more Dr visits... blah!

Hope this special specialist can give you some answers!

Sheri you are too funny. This whole string has cracked me up. Thanks gals!



I had to sit in a 4 hour meeting with a lawyer about something that happened years ago that I know nothing about today. I think I would rather have a root canal. Thanks for making me smile... horses going to Sears... hee-hee.

O.K...that is way worse than going to Wal Mart.

Not sure... Wal-Mart is a special kind of h*ll isn't it?? I think I agree with Sheri on this one

Cindy, I would have gone to the farmer too about the bag. That can't be good for a cow no matter how funny it looks. Actually, knowing me I would have tried to get the bag from the cow then ended up with a p*ssed off cow or a farmer that thinks I was trying to molest his animal. What a sight that would be...
And I hope your special Special doctor fixes you up right as rain (what a silly saying...)

If you've ever watched Andy Griffith or Leave It To Beaver (who would call their child Beaver), then you know that there used to be 1, count them, 1 one uno un ein, doctor for everything and people weren't nearly as sick. Now we have special specialist and they can't treat a thing. If you go to a surgeon he wants to operate. I've actually known people who went to an orthopedic doctor and were told they had a hair line fracture when they didn't. Go to a neurologist and he'll find something wrong with your nervous system. The definition of a specialist is
medical specialist, specialist - practices one branch of medicine. Just give me back the old doctor who could and WOULD treat it all.

The tow truck driver that moved our shed.. Beaver. Right on his truck. Beaver's towing. Don't know if that's his real name, or a nickname.

This thread has seriously brought smiles to my face today. And yes, Walmart is a different kind of hell, but still..

hey palies,

I hope all you good folks are having a great evening.

I am so tempted to go on a rant about good 'ole wallys(corporate bullies)...(crappy products)
but alas I wont.

I'm trying to calm myself down from my latest encounter with my chem queen neighbor.
I asked politely and calmly(but no)

So I turned the hose on her.man was she po'ed.

I need a funny.this one made me smile.

There was a young maid of Madras
Who had a magnificent [BLEEP].
'Twas not rounding and pink,
As you probably think,
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

oh crap .......sorry.......I've got too many screens open.

Uhhh...I learned my lesson on doing that...

Did you really turn the hose on your neighbor?????

:rolleyes: yep i did.

They are getting a new roof.
Instead of paying someone to haul off the shingles and insulation they pile it up and light it on fire.

My girls are watching me of course. So I am doing the best I can to be polite and stay calm.

I had to call the sheriff.He is very cool.

sorry about the mis-post....I called her a stupid cow

Hell, I live in Eastern Kentucky and we aren't even allowed to do that HERE!

I can honestly say that I would have called her much worse than a stupid cow...I guess that's where my daughter learned her "french"...from me.

Duckie...

You are my hero for today!!!

Duckie what do you have against cows? They have better sense then to burn shingles when it is so dry and where it would or could affect another person. Speaking of cows had to go to W-Mart tonight for dog food as feed store burned down.Did not see any cows with bags in their mouths but did see a few with all their no minding calves running wild and a few Horse's Patoot's.
Jimmy

Duckie - I'm still finding ceiling tile in the old fire pit -- Not to mention insulation, shingles, car parts, batteries - you name it, I'm finding it. Most people in this area (not sure if you're near me) have no concern for the environment and burn anything. <sigh>

What a hoot that you sprayed your neighbor!

I have the same problem with a neighbor too....
He's burned on and off for over 5 years now...
And the smell......
I have a little burn barrel too, so don't think
I'm not burning either, but I only burn paper,
I am such a fanatic about only burning paper,
I even peal the clear plastic off the windows
of spaghetti boxes.... :rolleyes:

This is my worst fear.....

I haven't been to Wal-Mart since the "cow incident"...
...and now I'm afraid the next time I go to WallyWorld there will be bovines in there, pushing shopping carts around.... :rolleyes:

Nothing grosses me out worse than smelling plastic burning!
I had a neighbor here that used to burn his trash every single night...and the smell of the burning plastic was awful. Thank God he's still in jail for that "other thing".

Weezie you're OD as they would say back in my old stompin grounds

Seriously though, when we first moved here - total culture shock for me - no free garbage pickup twice a week like I was used to in NYC. So burned too - but nothing plastic. In my mind that made it ok... but I started getting into composting and trying to do stuff au-naturale and yaknow, since we've been composting, I've cut my garbage in about half (if not more). A lot of our garbage was boxes because of all the stock we get. So, it's kind of compost heaven It's so much fun seeing what we can put in the heap.

Cindy - I'd rather see the bovines than some of the PIGS we have here!

I don't think its a good idea to burn anything naked... but maybe that's just me.

Not even burning up the sheets???

Oh well sure there is that....

There's a rule about burning. If it sends up black, smelly smoke, don't burn it. Remember when I called the EPA on my neighbors. They didn't burn for a long time but they've started again. Guess another call is in order.

Speaking of cows - and we were, did you know that if you see them grouped close together and it isn't feeding time, then it's going to rain.

Really?
Man, we have pastures of cows all over the place.
Gonna have to start noticing that.

I always wondered why, when you see a big pasture full of cows, even if there's like a hundred cows there spread out all over the place, they are all facing in the same direction...

Hate wal-mart. Don't want to go there. Wish something else was on the bus route. But I can do without when I have to.

hooper...
I hate Wal Mart with a passion...

I live in a small town. We used to have family owned businesses here...until Wal-Mart came. They all had to close their doors...couldn't compete with Wal-Mart.
Why go to Ormsby Hardware, Benge Farm Supply, Smith City Grocery, Begley Drug Store, Bob's Clothing Store, Cumberland Valley Office Supply, etc., etc...
...when you can get it all at Wal-Mart...all in the same place, and a few cents cheaper.

Man, I don't need to get started on Wal-Mart.
I had to go there today.

Cindy Faye

I know and then you find that a few cents cheaper doesn't work or breaks grrrrrh. I hate that store. I was buying groceries there until some of that was bad when I got it home. That's when it was time to stop no matter what. I mean green chocolate pudding bad. Just looking at it made me sick.

Cindy Lou Faye Irene, when the cows are looking in the same direction are they looking at you? They might be thinking "I'll bet that crazy human is going to WalMart."

I don't go to WalMart here because it's too crowded and things are hard to find. One of the times I did go I was looking for kerosene laterns and I asked 2 different people where they were and neither spoke enough English to understand me. They weren't Mexican but they weren't from the US either. That's when I decided that I shop where people speak English. Even if it costs more.

Speaking of cows,have any of ya'll seen the new "Happy Cows" commercials. They are made by the California cheese Board and are a trip! They even have a "Happy Cows Website" where you can watch all of the commercials and even buy "Happy Cow" merchandise. Check it out if you get a few minutes The link for the videos is on the left. Theres also a kids page with games and stuff for them.

I think my favorite one is where they are messing with the farmer and running up and ringing his doorbell then running out to the yard before he answers the door

G-Mom

one definitely should not fry bacon naked!
lthink the cow commercials are funny too!
there's anew walmart about an hour from here that i go too at times, not much else around. but face it nothing is like it used to be--not doctors, department stores(remember the old family owned ones?)
i go to wally world expecting it to be exactly what it is. just like if i chose mickey d's i don't expect to be able to order crab imperial
what's a girl to do?
you guys are a hoot! i enjoy these threads so much--even days later!
jv---i have seen the southend of northbound horses everywhere!

Next time I'll stop and ask a few if they want to ride along!


That sounds like an old "Far Side" cartoon. Gary Larson must have written the commercials. I have that "Far Side" cartoon framed...the one where the cows are all standing on their hind legs drinking martinis, then hear a car coming and get back down on all fours and start grazing...


Man, those are some profound words of WISDOM!

ouch

I drive by a Wal-mart a mile from my house. We havwe a chain here called 99 cent stores they have some produce cheap. Buy most of my canned good there as you can sometime get 3 to 5 cans of assorted things for 99 cents. Grade A large eggs are 69 cents. Other wise I go to Sav a lot as they have great meat and good produce half the price of Wal-Mart. Can you beleive that Albertson closed down here said they couldn't compete. Of cours if the meat they sold could be cut without a hacksaw would have helped. And everything in store about 5 times higher then Tom Thumb :p . Oh to have Winn-Dixie back good food and best meat for a decent price and customer service which most stores these days do not supply.
by blooming blooming I do know that but just seems like Wal-Mart is trying to corner the market on them. have a good day.
Jimmy

My grandpa use to tell me ..."if the cows in the field are layin down...the fish aren't bitin!" So he would ALWAYS look at the cows before he would go fishing!

Vanessa that is right. if they are up grazing fish are most likely biting but if they are laying down don't waist your time you can't get a nibble.
Jimmy

Are you all SERIOUS???

Is that true...or are you just messing with me?

Yep, it's really true,

Straight from the gospel according to grandpa Mears!!!!!

Well, if grandpa Mears and Jimmy say it's true, I guess I won't be going fishing if the cows are laying down!

...and, you know what?
I'm not going to Wal-Mart from now on if the cows are laying down!

...or standing up!

...I just gotta get drunk with a cow one of these days!
I know they drink...
They're not fooling anyone with that "grazing around a pasture all day" demeanor. :rolleyes: