I know Vanessa won't see this until she gets in this evening but I believe in the power of positive thinking SOOOOOOO--
GOOD LUCK with everything today Vanessa!!!
We're with you GIRLFRIEND!!
G-Mom
Yes, thoughts are with you today!! Take care, and let us know how it all goes.
Meg
Here's keeping everything crossed for you. Hope it all goes well.
Doreen.
Keeping my fingers crossed that you finally get some good news....Prayers.
You all are the best friends a guy could have! Yep, I bawlin about now! We just rolled in from Texarkana....looks like what is ahead is going to be a tough road!
The good news..(I'm always leary of that term)all of the nerve damaged was fixed with the surgery...it is healing very well and lookin good.
The "other" news....there is a mass in his hip that they cannot identify. It showed up VERY clear on the film. So Doc says he is bringing out the "big guns". He feels like there are several things going on that are causing trouble...so, more blood work, prostate exam, and another specialist exam. He wanted these all to be done quickly...but so far the one appt they were able to make while we were in the office...is in August...we wont know about the other appts til tomorrow.
We love this Doc...he is very considerate, kind and just a genuine person. I always take him something from the kitchen...cheesecakes, cookies, bread etc....he ALWAYS sends me a personal thank you letter. Today he invited us to spend the 4th of July at his home. He said his fireworks were better than any around! He is a gem and is doing everything possible to help us. He knows the stress this has put on us financially and emotionally....and is very concerned.
We also have another situation...I will mention it here and then I PROMISE...and I mean PROMISE to not unload on the forum again...I am tired of hearing me..so I am sure you are as well..(or more) We found out that there is a possability that the Peanut is...autitic. We have been very concerned about his developement for the past year...he does not talk and out of the listed requirements for autism...he has every symptom excet one. Yep, I am bawling some more! If he tests possative...it will be another long haul...treatment reguires sometimes up to 40 hours a week. It would require that we re-locate to be closer to facilities that could treat him. This is very BAD timing financially for all of this and I just don't know what we would do. So...just keep him at the top of your prayer list. The thread is getting thinner & thinner...I am afraid we/I am gonna break at some point. So, if I show up at your door (then I have run away) just let me in and call the nearest institution to come and pick me up.
Thank you all for your kindness and sticking with me....I LOVE you all!
yep, still bawling...where in the &*$%# are those Beam SEEDS?
vanessa I'm sooo sorry to hear that you are having it rough right now :-( I have some of those jim beam sunflower seeds if you'd like them. I'd be more than happy to send them to ya
if there's anything you need or anything just let me/all of us know
4Ruddy, I don't know you very well but I feel your pain all the way to Canada.
I am so sorry you are going through all this.You must be a very special person to have been dealt all this grief. You need to believe that.
Just take each day, each hour, each minute one at a time and soon you will find yourself sorting through all this and finding some relief.
My prayers are with you and I hope you can continue to gather strength from those around you.
Please take care.
I'm praying for you Vanessa,and all of your family.
so sorry
it is so not fair.
Please don't hesitate to talk your friends here.
We all Love you,and care very much.
duckie
Many prayers for you and your entire family.....You're obviously a strong person to have dealt with all the hardships you've been going through and to not have already snapped.....You can make it through this, it may not be easy but you'll do it....And don't worry, you can tell us about any problems you have as much as you want...that's what were all here for, right gang?
Prayers for your hubby and Peanut--Miracles can happen.....When I was 11 my friends cancer came back bad...he was 12...well we all prayed for him one day at church and the next time he had tests done it had disappeared.....with no medical explanation.....it was just totally gone....
Things have to start getting better for you guys soon......I'd take a little bad luck to give you some good luck anyday......
Vanessa....you can vent any old time. A person needs an outlet! They do amazing things with autism now a days and the medical field is forging ahead with the strides they have made in treating almost everything.
Take care of yourself, and you can make it through these tough times.
...I am tired of hearing me..so I am sure you are as well.
No way, Vanessa...
I know that my GH friends are the only friends I have, and I can't imagine not sharing my life with them...whether it be good or bad.
That's what makes this forum so special. Bill gave us this Banter Hall to use as we please...we can MAKE friends here and BE friends here. And, I hope you take full advantage of it...because it sure helps to talk to friends. Even though none of us can do anything except listen and pray, those 2 things are pretty important.
I love you, and am praying for you and your family.
Cindy
Vanessa, I don't know how I missed your post yesterday about the results. I'm so sorry that things aren't better yet. Yes, your garden helper friends are here for you, and you need to be able to talk about it, and you know we'll keep you in our thoughts & prayers.
Meg
YEP!! EVERYTHING Cindy said goes for me TOO!!!
We are here for you Vanessa
to share your hopes,dreams,fears,laughter and tears. What are friends for anyway!
G-Mom
Vanessa ~ I just read this post, as I was out all day yesterday, but wanted to add my support with the rest of the group. I know how stressed out you are right now, and things seem like they won't let up, but do try and find something that gives you a little relief and joy - even if it's only for a short time, so you can take a breather. I am like you... don't like to burden others with my problems (I have been very very stressed this year, gained mucho weight due to it, and am trying to take some off now, my blood pressure is thru the roof, and ... today I find out the results of an MRI that was done on my knee last week, for a soft mass, yadda yadda yadda).
So, please know that you are not going thru any of this alone, and feel free to vent, cry, whine, whatever, whenever the need strikes.
As for autism - I majored in that, in college, and cannot believe the strides they have made in the past 25 years or so. (I only worked in the field a short time before moving up to Alaska for a year, but do try to keep up on the news in that field). They are so much quicker to identify kids and start programs for them so much earlier, with wonderful results. Autistic kids nowadays are so much more high functioning than years ago - it really is amazing!
Just last week, I went plant shopping with a young woman who I met at Home Depot - she works for the plant supplier of that store. We got to talking about our kids and she said that both of hers - boy 14 and a girl 13 - are autistic. They are very high functioning, the boy has a job at their local hospital, the girl loves to garden with her mom, and they seem pretty well adjusted despite the diagnoses.
I know it's hard, but keep your head up, plant a flower, and just take some time to "stop and smell the roses" for a minute, ok?
You'll be in my thoughts... Lynne
Vanessa,
I have been praying for you all ... I agree with the rest, miracles do happen- I have a BIL who is autistc - he is 44 yrs old now and a happy person- they can do so much for these kids now- and do come here and vent as much as you need to.. don't think anyone minds and we all do care too-will keep praying for you - and yours.
Nana
And THE PRAYER CIRCLE can do miracles,
so, we'll just be sayin' some for you and
your whole family, `Kay????
Vanessa.
What a terrible traumatic time you are going through
. I am going to put your name forward for absent healing when l go to the spiritualist church tomorrow. Am already praying and wishing for some good news for you.
Why oh why do some individual's have to suffer so much
Doreenxxxx
Vanessa all my prayers and hopes for you and all your family. Prostate news can sometimes be good. It was for me praying it will be for your husband. I dont have much but if you need to come to Dallas for your husband or for peanut you are welcome to stay with me. I have only one bed but you and your husband can have it. Peanut can sleep on the couch I will sleep in my recliner. My house is yours if you need it. I promise to even clean the table off
(I think there is one there somewhere under that junk
) but anyway if you need my phone number or address let me know.
Jimmy
Jimmy...thank you so much for your generous offer...I would like to have your address...hopefully we can get both (husband & Peanut) taken care of in Little Rock & Texarkana... Thanks for the prayers!
It is my pleasure to make you this offer. I would feel honored for you come to my house and stay if you need it. I sent you a PM with all my contact info.
Jimmy
Wanted to let you know that you will be included in my thoughts and prayers.
My thoughts and prayers are with you too.
We haven't talked much but that doesn't mean anything... we gardeners stick together!
My very good friends have an autistic daugther who's turning 6 in August. She has made amazing strides in the past couple of years. She will be starting first grade in the fall with a regular class which we all thought would never happen when she was younger and constantly screaming. Its amazing what can happen when they are diagnosed young and get the right care right away. My prayers are with you all.
Peanut is also doing the "screaming" thing..I am trying to learn to "handle" it. He is a very sweet child and I want him to be able to function as normally as possible. We are also dealing with the anger part...something that is VERY new to me in a child so young. He gets so frustrated at simple things...but of course that is understandable when you cannot communicate. I appreciate so much the kind words & prayers..I believe that will be what gets us through this!
You will get all the prayers you can handle just from our little group. Although she isn't my daughter, I've been very much a part of her life, so I've seen the changes and know they can happen. If you ever want someone to vent to feel free to PM me. There were times when she was screaming because we turned on the light or the car was parked in the street instead of the driveway, or any of the many other things that she couldn't understand that made her mad, and all you really want to do sometimes is walk away and treat it like any other child's temper tantrum, but you can't, or just sit and cry with her... but believe me it can get better.
We had one of those mornings with Peanut today. He was SO unhappy and I couldn't for the life of me come up with what he wanted!As frustrating as it is on us...I know he is confused as well! My heart just hurts for him right now!
Hubby is going for his bone scan on Friday...he is pretty frightened because of the way the Drs. are talking! He will go for the PSA (cancer test) July the 5th...that one is even more frightening for him. Right now, I am just too tired to be frightened...trying to take care of all the appointments and so forth! Again I thank you all for your support! Don't know what I would do with out you guys!
Vanessa,
You might wanna try this with Peanut...
This is just a link to an article..
There's several more on it, just Google search it.
Signs and signals before baby talk This just might be a thought, but if he can't talk, but needs to communicate and he's getting frustrated, and getting mad...it might help....
Hey, ya just never know!!!!
Worth a try..
P/S
Here\'s another one..
Thanks Weezie...Peanut is pretty much "un-teachable" right now. That was our first indication that something was wrong. For instance...I had been trying to teach him to use a spoon...he looks right through you as though you are not there..or screams. they are telling me that he will be able to talk by using pictures eventually. The only thing he really "responds" well to is music. He should be able to clearly communicate simple "yes/no" answers...but cannot. I am thankful that Peanut has moments of affection, a hug or kiss or just wanting to sit in my lap. A lot of autistic children show no affection at all. this is a strange thing we are dealing with, very difficult to understand.
You'd be surprised....
Don't give up on it...
Just try a little test..
Every time, it's just about lunch time
or what time eating would occur...
and take your hand like you're drinking
something in a cup, and before he gets any
and is thirsty, you do the sign a few times
and then have him be able to see you pour
and hand him the cup....and you say thrirsty??
**or something in that nature** so he gets accustomed to when you make that hand signal
he gets something to drink... YOU JUST NEVER KNOW.
*I watched it on tiny babies, and it's so wierd
to watch them*
But it might be just worth a try....
It may not work, but then again, it may!!!!
Vanessa, I was thinking about you on my way home yesterday and I remembered something else. My friends' daughter would have good days and some really awful days, even after she was getting help and making progress. The doctor tested her for a variety of things and found out she had very low iron in her system (no wonder since all she would eat was chicken nuggets and candy). When they started giving Rae iron supplements her behavior improved dramatically. Imagine how tired she was fighting so hard to communicate and not just turn herself off and stem, then on top of it she didn't have enough iron to keep herself going. They eventually were able to cut back on her iron and now she is eating much better, which helps a lot. The biggest obstacle was getting her to tell you what she was feeling instead of just screaming or yelling no. She did speak before she was diagnosed she just chose to scream more often than not. Rae had a wonderful teacher that really helped her. My friends had her tested by the county services and they are the ones who placed her in the special school. She was integrated last year into a normal kindergarten in the morning, with a small transition period where she was attending her special school in the afternoon too. Now she is off to a normal first grade where she will be monitored by a county worker once a week to see how she is doing.
Good luck to both you and your husband on his tests. I'll be sending him all of my good thoughts and prayers!!
Vanessa,
You said Peanut likes music- my BIL is autistic - he is 44 now so they didn't have a lot of what they do now to help him but music worked with him--- he can play any musical instrument by ear and can read music- he is very intelligent when you can get him to talk- more often now than when he was younger but they do so much more now for these kids...I would try a song with spoon holding directions - or whatever the lesson is you want to get across- may take a long time but could work for you.
Thinkin' about you all~all day today!!!!!
We survived...well, pretty close to it anyway! I am glad to be home!
Got half way to Texarkana and realized I FORGOT to put the sippy cups in the truck...FOREVERMORE!!! No sippy cups, three 2y/o's and running behind...what a way to start the day! But we made it...cranky kids & all! Did I mention I am GLAD to be home??????????
I'll bet you are glad to be home......now you can relax a little.....did the tests go okay with your hubby? Been wondering about you today.
Thnaks Loz...wont know any results til we hear from the Doc...and that wont be for another week or better. We go Tuesday for the cancer test...he said he was going to have that Doc call him as SOON as he had results and then he would call me and say "good" or "BAD"...that is exactly the way he put it! So...as usual...it is WAIT ,WAIT ,WAIT,........................ :rolleyes:
That's always how it is with any kind of tests--too bad they can't give us all instant results...it's the waiting that gets to you....
I had that dye injected in me when I had a CAT scan, x-rays on my neck, and an MRI to see if there was a cause for my migraines---it was so weird when the Dr showed me the xrays of my own brain, when he put the neck xrays up there he asked me if I had any type of neck injury--turns out I have bone spurs in my neck that can cause headaches, muscle spasms, and pain. And he wouldn't recommend surgery because it can be too risky, so I just live with it.....this was a few years ago, but that dye did not react good with me, and I told Mark I won't have it again unless I'm knocked out--funny thing is my dad has the same bad reaction to it...I think in an earlier post you said your hubby had to have the dye.....I guess he was okay when they gave it to him?
I'll be praying that you guys get good results from that cancer test....I had surgery because I had precancerous cervical cells---this was back when I was 19 & the dr said it was the most aggresive precancerous cells he'd ever seen....Luckily I've been clear ever since, but it is always weighing in the back of my mind....anything to do with cancer is a scary thing.......How is your hubby holding up through all of this????? Is he trying to keep in pretty good spirits(as hard as it must be)?
Loz...this is the 2nd round of dye he has had. A couple of weeks ago they injected the dye in his spine to check the nerves...he thought he was going to die for 2 days afterwards! He could barely walk he was so sore and it took a long time for the dye to process out...so he wasn't looking forward to this one at all. But they injected the dye intravieniously for the bone scan and it wasn't quite as bad. His spirits were pretty much okay for what he has had to deal with...but when they mentioned cancer...that did it! He already feels bad about not being able to "provide" and take care of his family...now he is just devistated! He NEVER missed any work until now and this has wiped us out financially...that part is harder for him to deal with than anything. It also just kills him that he hasn't been able to do things like yard work etc...he can't stand it when some one has to do those things for him...it makes him feel like he is being "lazy"! Those are hard things for a man to handle!
Vanessa remind him he is anything but lazy sometimes you have to let others help. I have had a hard time dealing with that myself. Tell him to look around him at all you two had done together and he has provided you. would a lazy man do that I don't think so. Only a man that loves his family will provide like has a lazy person doesn't care And would expect people to give him everything. From what I have read on your post this man is very selfless and has done his best for you and peanut and the rest of your family, And would give his life. Now it is time to let others sweat the small stuff and him to take care of hisself so you can grow old together, beleive me it is no fun being old alone. Times will be rough put it all in God's hands he will provide for you. Anything I can do please let me know.
Jimmy
Vanesssa, when you are sick there isn't anything remotely lazy about not being able to do the stuff you once did.....But I think I know how your husband feels, mine would be the same way....He's the provider, and never misses work--and does all the yardwork....I can only imagine how hard it must be on you both having to go through all of this. And I can't imagine having to have that dye injected into your spine! OUCH......I can't remember if you mentioned before or not, and if you don't want to you don't have to say--I was just wondering what type of cancer they are testing for? So many people I know have been touched by cancer in one way or another....I wish they could just cure it all and make it go away.
And I agree with everything JV said.............
He didn't give any specifics on the type they are testing for...but due to the bone scan I would assume a type of bone cancer.
Well I'll be praying for him, hoping that the results come back and are good.....
vanessa, due to plyaing catch-up, i am just now reading this post... so, what happened?0
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Thank you all so much for your support and encouragement! I love my friends here and really don't know how I ever made it without you! I have established some of the best relationships with my garden helper buddies and cherish your friendships! And, you are right...we are here for each other and I appreciate that! No matter what goes on in this neck of the woods...I will be here for you as well!