A Gardeners Forum
Posted By: Anonymous Darwin Awards - July 10th, 2005 at 02:01 AM
New Darwin awards.....
>
>Glad these genes are out of the pool !!!
>
>
>
>THE DARWIN AWARDS
>
>5th RUNNER-UP
>Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift tower
>at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a
>foam pad. The 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at
>Central Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the
>Mono County Sheriff's department said. Hubal and his friends
>apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some
>yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the
>Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to protect
>skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to
>slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since
>been investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with
>its pad removed.
>
>4th RUNNER-UP
>Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, who was apparently being disorderly in a
>St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo
>grabbed a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without
>paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics
>removed the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to
>death.
>
>3rd RUNNER-UP
>Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing
>above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell
>on him.
>
>2nd RUNNER-UP
>"Man loses face at party" is what the headline read: A man at a West
>Virginia party (probably related to the winner last year, a man in
>Arkansas who used the 22 bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup
>truck) popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering
>an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer,
>24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the party late
>Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an
>aquarium hooked to battery and was trying to explode it. It wouldn't
>go off and Stromyer said:'I'll show you how to set it off.' He put it
>into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and his lips and
>tongue off", Payne added. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition
>Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson
>at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone
>doing something like that," Payne said.
>
>1st RUNNER-UP
>Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot
>through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be
>released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye
>last weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men
>Anonymous in Grant's Pass, Oregon. A friend tried to shoot a beer can
>off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye. Doctors said
>that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel
>would have been severed causing instant death. The initiation stunt is
>under investigation.
>
>THIS YEAR'S WINNER:
>The late John Pernicky and his friend, the late Sal Hawkins, of the
>great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert
>at the George Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having
>had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop"
>over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their
>pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky,
>who was 100-pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins to hop the fence and
>then assist his friend over.
>
>Unfortunately for Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other
>side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself
>crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along
>with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling
>from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes
>below him.
>
>Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket
>knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree.
>Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp leaves
>scratched his entire body and worse, without the protection of his shorts,
>a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse still, on
>landing, his pocket knife penetrated his thigh.
>
>Mr. Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw
>him a rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup
>truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste/state, he
>put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence, landing 30\
>feet below atop his friend, killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed
>pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead from
>massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under
>it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife
>in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25-feet in the air.
>
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