It's showing up for me!
Let's see if I can print it here and bleep out all the bad parts...
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Angie's Office party. It was loz who spiked the punch with too much Beam and Pepsi. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like armpit.
I thought it was funny when I put Angie's panties on my head and danced the jerk on the table while singing `"Love Stinks"'. I didn't mean to break loz's ******** and don't know why loz would accuse me of speeding.
I don't remember calling Rick's wife a **** cow---even though she looked like one with gray eye shadow and brown lipstick!
And when I threw up on Angie's husband's leg, it was only because I ate too much of that smoked salmon.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Avalanche through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a ****** dog and have me arrested for disorderly conduct!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all ******* and *********. And I'm really not to blame for any of this freaky stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and ********** yours,
Cindy (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 9 bucks!