A Gardeners Forum Forums General Discussion The Banter Hall What Do You Need?

Something to try for a lark when you have a few minutes to waste on the computer...

Go to your search bar and type in your first name followed by the word "needs", then click on "search". It is interesting to see the top ten things Google thinks you need....





Merme

This has been going around Facebook for the past few weeks, but I never bothered to do it. I had to actually weed through the first three pages of my google search because I was actually getting other "Jennifer needs" searches that other people had done as part of my results. So, here is what I got....(I always have time to fart around on the internet! )

Jennifer needs:

1. a smack daddy
2. to play by the rules
3. to give birth in the next week
4. a cane
5. a mortician
6. to date Jason
7. a shave
8. your support
9. to go to bed
10. a muzzle

I'm familiar with this too but haven't done it for a long time.

Laura needs....

1. some post toddler love!
2. your continued support. :ding:
3. help.
4. a wash!
5. to commit this nut now!
6. $3000 for more new legs.
7. a BBQ apron.
8. a digital strategist.
9. a clue.
10. a ride for one to Dearborn.

This was kinda neat.

Rachel needs....

1. a miracle
2. help with adopted twins
3. fixing
4. a hero
5. to take her medication
6. a smaller size
7. your prayers
8. a new pair of boots
9. to know how to make my boobs grow bigger
10. to focus

Too Funny!


Diane needs
1. a pigfoot and a bottle of beer, some reefer and some gin,

2.to reconcile both sides of herself -- and to love herself

3. a Shower

4. a Loan *Chi ching *

5. a good affair

6.to stop &*^$%^(#'ing me

7. only moist, well-drained, organic soil in sun or light shade.

8.to get a room

9.needs a ride for 1 to San Roman

10.Much of Muchness


This was Fun !!!!!!!

This is funny AND weird!!!

Shirley needs......

1.prayers in healing and blessing

2.heart, to arrest shopping decline

3.a facelift !!!!

4.to go back to school!!!

5.a holiday I just got back!!

6.needles to heal. accupunture??

7.a home.

8.help and encouragement getting close to people due to past losses.

9.close supervision

10.advise

This was fun!!!

Jessica needs.....

1. coffee
2. to stop dressing like a s%#$
3. a bigger Al-bra.....what kind of bra is that??
4. her "Eric" time
5. a haircut
6. your help
7. a nice chianti
8. to dress more like Dolly Parton...that must be why I need the bigger bra
9. to put some clothes on
10. to learn some new lingo

I had to skip one....apparently there is a girl on facebook whose name is Jessica Needs.

I'm waiting to see your top ten needs Merme

Tina needs
1. a slower pace
2. to narrow her shoulders and slim down her waist
3. a boy
4. your help
5. a hero
6. to loose weight (spelled as it was)
7. prayers
8. a new home
9. a breather
10.help moving
Tina is obviously an over-weight, homeless person who is extremely busy.

Will someone please help an apparently computer inept person here??
Please type in "Carol Needs" and post it for me??? I pull up all kinds of "Carol needs" things but nothing like what ya all are finding---HELP !!!

and thanks in advance......

PMing your list to you, Carol

Isn't Tina just too too nice---
here is what Tina found that I need----

1) assessment information--on what???
2) teapots---yep, what with all the tea drinking I have to fit into my day now
3) our help---Amen to that!!!!
4) prayers---see above
5) a big opening night---"Where"???
6) to change--my clothes?????
7) to treat her condition---LOL yep they know ME---
8) more miles....?????
9) more busts--I think I am good on that "front"
10) a good Halloween costume

This is great fun, Merme glad you found it!!!!

Well...okay according to google I need

1. Face book
2.needs and deserves a lot of promotion (I like that one)
3.improve her self-esteem
4.a strong man and anger management classes!
5.To Get Her Ears Cleaned
6.a muzzle slapped on her face
7.to be in control of her surroundings
8.to trust Jonathan and let him lead (???)
9.glue, pencil, eraser, various black permanent pens
10.a photo to post.

I tried this my list is:

1. I need prayers and good wishes from the local witches.
2. A baby (that would be a miracle).
3. To Know what a performance installation that incorporates autobiographical text, original music and audience interaction is.
4. Constant Care.
5. Bail money after being arrested for trying to save a dying dog.
6. Votes to become the most recognized model in the country. (Heaven forbid)
7. A fashion look. (I have a fashion look. Grungy casual. Works great for the garden.)
8. I need to be supported at home and at work. (I wonder where I work...) Do they mean the crutches do you think?)
9. I needs heat.
10. I need a gamer group.

There is my list. I hope I did it right.

1. the Lamb in school.

2. to determine the best day to work her magic!

3. shadows.

4. a mascot.

5. sexy dreamgirls socks. :ding:

6. to learn the rules :list:

7. to focus on defense

8. a bit of independence

9. our prayers

10. to schedule appearances in better venues.

Oh these are funny, I especially got a laugh at Jessica's bra need and then her dressing like Dolly Parton.

They are funny! And I guess I need to stop dressing like a....you know what. Gosh I didn't know I did dress like one!

Cindy you are a character, and sooooo funny!!

So why didn't you show us all of the list?!

I almost pulled out in front of a cop on wednesday.
Just in time I seen him setting ..................yow.
I was going to pass a slow truck.. Not knowing the truck had a cb to know the cop was there..eekkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
I didnt do the other part that Cindy says.

b

I'm confused on this stuff.

Loz, you saved me some googling! ha ha
thanks.
(cricket it the 'other' laura)

i did jiffy and it gave me mostly car stuffs. then i did jennifer and got lots of stuff about jennifer's who have their own website. nothing interesting

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I did one for Jiffymouse using her real first name...

She needs:

1. A smack daddy

2. A good job & a vacation too.

3. to play by the rules.

4. to give birth.

5. a cold shower

6. your help.

7. a community page.

8. to be a "My Little Pony".

9. A man who will lay his cards on the table.

10. to develope age-appropriate language for social situations

I also did one for Enrique....

1. his independence.

2. To be tricked out of his sleep.

3. Your assistance!

4. A loving family

5. No second warning.

6. to go back to his original style.

7. more of "the good stuff"

8. a massage

9. to master Italian.

10. to come out and play.

Hey

Some one write about me ..What DOes Dodge NEED? OR KNEAD???????

I'll look you up, my friend. Just a sec...

LOL

Better be funny.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman picked up a few items in the supermarket,
then headed for the express line. The till mechanic standing
at the till had his back turned to her, while he talked on the
phone to the manager about the till malfunction.
So she said to him, "Excuse me, I'm in a hurry.
Could you check me out, please?"
The till mechanic turned, looked her up and down and
said, "Not too bad looking at all, for your age."

Barb, this one is for you...

1. to leap

2, rewards from dummies

3. to be fed a variety of foods including vegetables as well as meaty foods.

4. to use her great power in the right way.

5. to put her thoughts on a diet.

6. to hear your voice clearly

7. a changing TV environment

8. affordable screen printing.

9. some healing time

10. her soulful expression.


and I have to include the 11th one I found...

11. Food. Food. Food. Meds. Meds. Meds. Water. Water. Water.

this is so funny. Does google know me? Check out the first one and I eat peanut butter out of the jar ALL the time!!


Sheri needs to find a WWII German nurse's uniform pattern.


Sheri needs a ride for 1 to San Ramon.


Sheri needs help.


Sheri needs to go.


Sheri needs a serious attitude adjustment.


Sheri needs help with Broodlord quest chain.


Sheri needs to get some sleep.


Sheri needs more data.


Sheri needs a road trip.


Sheri needs a deformed finger to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar

Sheri needs to check with prison officials.


Sheri needs help identifying the two seated adults in this photograph.


Sheri needs random sex and lots of it.

Sheri needs direction to proceed with Phase 2.


Sheri needs to be left alone.
(Please exit in an orderly fashion.)

.......gOOD AND PLENTY.



tHANKS MERME .LOVED IT ...

EVERYONE IS WELCOME TO WRITE ONE ON ME FOR LAUGHS..
B

I did one for our very own Bill.


Bill needs....

1. Big changes.

2. Some help to expel alien gang

3. strengthening.

4. to represent "balanced reform"

5. encouraging, dense, transit-oriented development

6. to insert friction

7. to travel to Alaska

8. dedication to improve the nation's broadband profile

9. your signature

10. tweaks.

some how, i don't think he wants to get rid of his alien :wink: i think he wants the alien to get back where she belongs


by the way, thank you merme for doing mine i didn't have what it took.

Jiffy I figured you were overly tired that night & suffering from the cold. Yours really made me chuckle, especially #10 about age-appropriate language for social situations... making it sound as if you might use baby talk at a cocktail party in your evening gown...


I also liked Bill's #10 He needs "tweaked". And just who might do the tweaking, I'd like to know?


Merme *imagining Jiffy saying things such as "fuzzy wuzzy drwinky dinky"

it does have a nice ring

Maybe clicky ,dinky too.

I can imagine.......