Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
#158677 Dec 5th, 2007 at 05:33 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 21,848
dodge Offline OP
Hot Rod
20k Posts
OP Offline
Hot Rod
20k Posts
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 21,848
bop bop bop

Holiday Eating Tips:

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday
buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact,
if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where
they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine
single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than
single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year
but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories
in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one
for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole
point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on.. Make
a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy.
Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with
skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother?
It's like buying a sports car with an automatic
transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort
to control your eating. The whole point of going to a
Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots
of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now
and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have
nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which
you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a
10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet
table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size
of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have
as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.
They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of
each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and
one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have
more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with
the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all
cost. I mean, have SOME standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave
the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying
attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is
just around the corner.

Remember this non Weight Watcher’s motto:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the
intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well
preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in
one hand, martini in the other, totally worn out and
screaming,

"WOO HOO what a ride!"

I like this one!

Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only
you can feel the true warmth.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail!


[Linked Image]
[Linked Image]
PS... My horse isn't here, this is my Nitemare..
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 800
500 Posts
Offline
500 Posts
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 800
I needed that as I have been feeling quilty all week about napping and not excercising and eating too much nervous Guess I don't have to till Jan.


[Linked Image]

I am strong when I am on your shoulders, you raised me up to be more than I can be.
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 21,848
dodge Offline OP
Hot Rod
20k Posts
OP Offline
Hot Rod
20k Posts
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 21,848
clap

lol thumbup


[Linked Image]
[Linked Image]
PS... My horse isn't here, this is my Nitemare..
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 3,540
The Man
3k Posts
Offline
The Man
3k Posts
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 3,540
Amen to those rules!!


[Linked Image]

Helping the world one seed at a time

When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. Mary Ann LaPensee
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 21,848
dodge Offline OP
Hot Rod
20k Posts
OP Offline
Hot Rod
20k Posts
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 21,848
Originally Posted by kennyso
Amen to those rules!!
yikes

Maybe a few hail marys too???



[Linked Image]
[Linked Image]
PS... My horse isn't here, this is my Nitemare..
Jiffymouse
Unregistered
Jiffymouse
Unregistered
thumbup as i made fudge tonight! lol

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 30,453
Likes: 61
Northern Star
30k Posts
Online Crazy
Northern Star
30k Posts
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 30,453
Likes: 61
lol good one.


~~Tam~ You can bury all your troubles by digging in the dirt.
[Linked Image from agardenersforum.com]
[Linked Image from agardenersforum.com]
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 46,788
Likes: 33
Frogger
40k Posts
Online Happy
Frogger
40k Posts
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 46,788
Likes: 33
Dodge---excellent timing!!!

an excuse is an excuse is an excuse !!!!!



[Linked Image from agardenersforum.com]
[Linked Image from agardenersforum.com]
________



Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!! .....
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 31,597
Purl One
30k Posts
Offline
Purl One
30k Posts
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 31,597
That was hysterical! lol

Thanks for the early morning chuckle!


[Linked Image]
[Linked Image]
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 21,848
dodge Offline OP
Hot Rod
20k Posts
OP Offline
Hot Rod
20k Posts
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 21,848
bow


[Linked Image]
[Linked Image]
PS... My horse isn't here, this is my Nitemare..
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 18,737
Likes: 31
Patriot
10k Posts
Offline
Patriot
10k Posts
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 18,737
Likes: 31
words to live by.



plantqueen
Unregistered
plantqueen
Unregistered
Good one dodge! I love it!!

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 21,848
dodge Offline OP
Hot Rod
20k Posts
OP Offline
Hot Rod
20k Posts
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 21,848
bop


[Linked Image]
[Linked Image]
PS... My horse isn't here, this is my Nitemare..

Link Copied to Clipboard
Seasonal Ticker
Gardening Links
Gardening in February
Gardening in March
Gardening in April


Shop at Amazon and Support AGF
Are you shopping online? Click this link first and A Gardeners Forum will receive a commission for your referral at Amazon.com (shopping through this link to Amazon will not have any impact on your prices at Amazon).
Like Us on Facebook
Forum Statistics
Forums65
Topics14,312
Posts240,811
Average Daily Posts3
Members16,004
Most Online10,356
Nov 2nd, 2019
Top Posters(30 Days)
Random Gallery Image
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5