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#158677 Dec 5th, 2007 at 04:33 PM
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Holiday Eating Tips:

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday
buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact,
if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where
they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine
single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than
single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year
but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories
in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one
for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole
point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on.. Make
a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy.
Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with
skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother?
It's like buying a sports car with an automatic
transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort
to control your eating. The whole point of going to a
Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots
of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now
and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have
nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which
you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a
10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet
table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size
of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have
as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.
They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of
each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and
one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have
more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with
the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all
cost. I mean, have SOME standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave
the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying
attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is
just around the corner.

Remember this non Weight Watcher’s motto:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the
intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well
preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in
one hand, martini in the other, totally worn out and
screaming,

"WOO HOO what a ride!"

I like this one!

Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only
you can feel the true warmth.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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I needed that as I have been feeling quilty all week about napping and not excercising and eating too much nervous Guess I don't have to till Jan.


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clap

lol thumbup


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Amen to those rules!!


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When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. Mary Ann LaPensee
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Originally Posted by kennyso
Amen to those rules!!
yikes

Maybe a few hail marys too???



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thumbup as i made fudge tonight! lol

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lol good one.


~~Tam~~Those who think country life is simple....have never lived on a farm.
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Dodge---excellent timing!!!

an excuse is an excuse is an excuse !!!!!



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That was hysterical! lol

Thanks for the early morning chuckle!


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bow


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words to live by.

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Good one dodge! I love it!!

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