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#126556 Sep 9th, 2007 at 07:58 AM
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Since everything started having to be politically correct government, makers of drugs, drug suppliers, public relation firms, television and I don't know who else are making life risky for our children. I watched a made for TV movie last week about teenagers and HIV and real life teenagers were interviewed after the show. Almost ALL the teenagers interviewed said they aren't worried about getting AIDS because there is medicine now. I just saw a commercial about Valtrex which makes it look like having genital herpes is no big deal. It is a big deal because it can pop up at any time, it hurts when you pee especially for a women and if you deliver a baby vaginally it can result in horrible problems for that infant. Have you seen the commerical about HPV? Does it even mention that HPV can be contracted through unprotected sex. I don't think it does. Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) has now been changed to Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) because "it's not as scary". Working at the Health Department, like I do, I see these people young and old with these problems. These STD's or STI's whatever you want to call them can cause a lot of problems one of which is DEATH. Medicine does NOT cure all STD's. Valtrex does not keep sores from appearing on every single person who has herpes who takes it. Medicine will not keep every single person with HIV from getting full blown AIDS and dying. HPV can and does cause cervial cancer and cancer can kill a woman. Why are we being so stupid? Because we don't want things to be "scary." Sometimes things need to be scary to save us from ourselves. Teach your children about STD's and the consequences. Don't sugar coat it.

Bestofour #126558 Sep 9th, 2007 at 08:03 AM
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WEll said Sheri...everything i
've learnt is from school, my parents are 'traditional chinese' people and will avoid all topics of sex whatever it takes. our teachers have told us very strictl about the dangers and all the things you can contract...


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kennyso #126560 Sep 9th, 2007 at 08:08 AM
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That is great Kenny. In my county and I think the state of NC teachers are not supposed to talk about any type of birth control including condoms. The school nurses, some used to work where I work, have a hard time when students have valid questions because they aren't supposed to discuss such things. I'm glad you're getting a good education. Being smart and careful with your own body is the best way to stay out of trouble.

kennyso #126561 Sep 9th, 2007 at 08:08 AM
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Thank you, Sheri.


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Tina #126572 Sep 9th, 2007 at 08:28 AM
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No, thank you Tina. I thought twice about posting that here because we have some young viewers but then I thought that is the biggest population that needs to know about this. It is pathetic when I have a sexually active patient with an STD who asks me "what is that?" They have no clue what "sexually transmitted disease" meant. When I explain what it is "how did I get it?" Then the girls always ask "is it going to kill me? Will this medicine make it go away?" Mothers bring their young daughters in for a birth control method because they've heard or "think' it's imminent and don't want them to be a teenager mother but they don't do any teaching. Everyone wants to start sex-ed earlier and earlier - well this is part of sex education. They have got to know the consequences of their actions.

Tina #126574 Sep 9th, 2007 at 08:29 AM
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I appreciate this thread more than you know. Maxi and I have to seriously TALK from time to time, as young as he is, because he comes home from school and away from TV ads with all kinds of misinformation and misperceptions. Those TV ads are dangerous.


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Bestofour #126581 Sep 9th, 2007 at 08:39 AM
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Sheri - this was a very informative post! I'm just wondering if you are making any reference to the new vaccine for teens - Gardasil? Amy just got the first shot of 3 - they have to be administered over a 6 month period - the second is given 2 months after the first, and then the 3rd at 4 months later.

I was on the fence about giving it to her - it's just too new for me to feel comfortable about the tests and trials that were done. But... both my gyno and her pediatrician were very confident, and my gyno said he gave it to both his girls the day it came out. I just hope that many years down the road, they don't find complications like they did with DES babies. My mom did not take that particular drug, but took a similar one to get pregnant with me.


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Yes, Lynne, I'm talking about Gardacil, but not the vaccine itself but the way the commercial talks about HPV without even saying it can be sexually transmitted. The commercial, which is paid for by the drug manufacturer, leaves out an important part of the information. The commercial I've heard says you can prevent a virus that causes cervical cancer - no other info about being sexually responsible. Maybe there are other commericals that give more information but we're leading our children down a garden path by trying to be vague.

I remember when I got my oldest daughter the MMR vaccine. My mother freaked out because it was new and I had to sign a release. If my girls were in the age group to be vaccinated I would do it too.

Bestofour #126599 Sep 9th, 2007 at 09:23 AM
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ohmyGOD, Sheri!!! This proves the point you are making!

I've seen that commercial myself and I had no idea it was talking about HPV. All the teens I know are chatting about this drug for teens that prevents cancer and not one of them have mentioned HPV, either!

I'm shocked. I feel stupid, too, 'coz I fell for it until you just now explained it!

Merme

Last edited by Merme; Sep 9th, 2007 at 09:24 AM.

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Bestofour #126601 Sep 9th, 2007 at 09:27 AM
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Jonni got her first in the series of vaccines as well. The second is due now......
I heard your whole statement, Sheri and agree totally. It would have sent me off to make sure I had discussed all of this thoroughly with my daughter if I could. I will again at first opportunity.


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Tina #126606 Sep 9th, 2007 at 09:41 AM
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I live in a small county but in the last 6 months we've had 2 cases of positive HIV at my health department. They have both been girls younger than 25. One black, one Mexican. They were hysterical. One girl came with her mother who was also hysterical. They can take medicine as this movie I saw said but they also may suffer and die with this. This politically correct stuff is for the birds. The truth is harsh sometimes but it needs to be said. We have Wingate University in our county, which is a small Baptist University that cost a gazillion dollars to attend. I always say if some parents knew what their children are doing at college they would save their hard earned money to buy a vacation home in Hawaii. I'm glad my girls are out of college or I'd probably lock them in the trunk of the car so they would have to go everywhere I go because I'd be afraid they'd do some of the stuff I did in college. Don't wanna go there.....;

Bestofour #126694 Sep 9th, 2007 at 02:34 PM
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a very timely post sheri. my kids started getting serious talks at a very early age because they asked serious questions. i'm glad now.

and, i wish all parents and school systems would admit that as long as we are human, we will need to educate our children on how to make the least mistakes possible, and how horrible the consequences can really be.

#126707 Sep 9th, 2007 at 02:59 PM
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MEAN MOM

Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent,
I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going,
with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for
two hours while you cleaned your room,
a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all.
I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean?

I know mine was.

We had the meanest mother in the whole world!
While other kids ate candy for breakfast,
we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch,
we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times.
You'd think we were convicts in a prison.
She had to know who our friends were
and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it,
but she had the nerve to break
the Child Labor Laws by making us work.

We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor,
do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.
I think she would lie awake at night
thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

By the time we were teenagers,
she could read our minds
and had eyes in the back of her head.
Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk
the horn when they drove up
They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them.
While everyone else could date
when they were 12 or 13,
we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out
on lots of things other kids experienced.
None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
property or ever arrested for any crime.
It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms!


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papito #126773 Sep 9th, 2007 at 04:40 PM
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Amen.

Bestofour #126809 Sep 9th, 2007 at 05:41 PM
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Sheri... both my husband and I have made a point of telling Amy that just because she is getting this vaccine, it will not protect her from pregnancy nor other diseases. Also... it's soooooooo important for kids to know that the Pill will not protect against any diseases!


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You're a good parent Lynne.

Bestofour #126875 Sep 9th, 2007 at 11:05 PM
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I read Papito's Mean Mom post to Maxi. He said "boy, that is me 'n you! You are a mean mom and keep me safe and out of trouble!"

You got that right, kid.

I got involved in a long dispute with someone tonight over the phone on this topic. She thinks it doesn't matter if the teens know this shot is to protect them from cancer contracted by a STD. We took such opposing views, I had to change the subject lest I cause a brawl.

In my opinion, kids need to be well informed ---- from home --- and not from other sources that may be mistaken. We can't abdicate our responsibility to our kids in this area because of discomfort over conversing on such sensitive topics. I didn't want my son believing in the school's version of life and health, and particularly not his playground buddies version. I wanted him to get the facts from me.

Schools tend to distribute partial information and don't care if the kid gains misperceptions from it or not.

I do care and my son knows ALL the facts sensible for his age group.


Merme


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The other heart was given to another for us to find.
#126889 Sep 10th, 2007 at 02:49 AM
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Life is tough. Teens today think they rule the world. We've had cases of positive HIV testing a few years ago in one of the french schools an hour from here. Now it's hepatitis that is running rampant.

I agree that teaching must be done from home, my mother left me run wild. I in turn done the exact opposite with my teen daughter. We are known as one of the strictist families in the area, if it saves my child then it was well worth it in the end.

I would never tell anything to my mother yet DD tells me things that I'd be embarassed to talk about with another adult....go figure.


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Sunflowers #126898 Sep 10th, 2007 at 03:19 AM
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this is a great thread to have...i also agree that the the way it is set up now gives people a sense that they are getting a free pass to live WILD AND LOOSE just because there are vaccines and treatments! people need to beaware that there is more than just the fear of becoming pregnant or contracting HIV, they need to make a decision based on common sense and self-respect, and not just because there is treatments that may or may not work!


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Also, that shot doesn't protect against ALL HPV. There's more than 1 type of HPV.

Plus that shot doesn't protect against AIDS which can kill a person.

Last edited by Bestofour; Sep 10th, 2007 at 09:18 AM.
Bestofour #127000 Sep 10th, 2007 at 09:20 AM
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I know, Sheri - that's what we keep stressing to Amy.
So many kids have false beliefs about all this!!!


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Teenagers today have so much to deal with. We used to call STD's VD and I never knew anyone who had VD. I'm sure people got it but everything was kept a secret. We used condoms to keep from getting pregnant because our parents would have killed us. Today it's no big thing to have babies while in school, at least not in the population I see at work, so condoms use isn't a big deal. They just don't think it can happen to them.

Bestofour #127004 Sep 10th, 2007 at 09:46 AM
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Sheri,
This is such a good topic and it is so important to keep our kids informed with the truth - age appropriate of course but the truth... kids do think it won't happen to me- hence the crazy driving and drinking too- I know that STD's went thru a middle school in Denver a couple yrs ago... they ended up testing most of the kids cause so many had it- most of them didn't know oral sex can also spread STD's.... they teach sex ed but only partly--- heaven forbid kids get the truth- mine always did -didn't always work but at least they knew. Carrie did her senior paper on sex and the teen girl- birthcontrol methods- got an A+ but they wouldn't let her read it to the class cause it might cause controversy..... she figured she was an expert- had a baby as a sophmore and by senior yr knew all the reasons why she should have waited.... and the chances she took getting more than a son out of it- I made her get tested every 6 months for 3 yrs....
If I had a daughter the right age now I would get her the shot too- my oldest daughter always has abnormal cells when she does paps so it is on my mind alot with her that I wish it had been around earlier... she is to old to take it now and so it Carrie... boy that makes me feel really OLD!
Nana


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Nana's15 #127202 Sep 10th, 2007 at 02:58 PM
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I agree. I DO plan to get my daughter vaccinated, but we have also had "the talk" . (she said she was taught in school too),but I also told her "that goes for oral too, do you know what that is?" naturally she said no, so I explained.

We talked about diseases AND I also made sure to tell her that people would HATE her(girls AND boys), if she had sex, and would call her awful names and everything.

and her dad DRILLS it into her brain ALL THE TIME too, so we are hoping that a man's opinion on things will help too. I never had any advice from my Dad and was always confused about boys, so I am VERY glad that she has him to let her know that "boys will say anything ...."

I told her that if she ever has any questions, to come to me. we live in a small town so, her dad is trying to keep her into sports and stuff to keep her occupied and out of the wrong crowds.

I think(hope) that the support will keep her strong!

Mrs.Bradley #127226 Sep 10th, 2007 at 03:17 PM
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Nana, we did the best we could with the sources we had when our children were younger.

A made for TV movie was made about the school that had the STD running rampant. In the movie it was syphilis, not sure what it was in real life and over 100 kids were infected - mostly from oral sex.

Keeping kids busy is a good thing I think. I see a lot of girls mostly who are homed schooled They have school either in the am or pm and are left to their own devices the rest of the day. They are home while their mother (usually the teacher) either works part time or goes shopping or wherever, so they walk or drive to the mall or a friends house, hook up with guys and have sex. Sometimes I think it's out of boredom. Parents are trying to do the best possible but these kids are finding every way they can to have sex. I'm not against home schooling, my sister did it for a while, but these kids are telling me that they get their work done in 3 hours and then are finished for the day with nothing to do. They don't belong to home school groups for sports or anything.

Bestofour #127254 Sep 10th, 2007 at 03:56 PM
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Well I know when I was growing up no one ever told me anything except don't do it- this to a kid who had been raped and molested- no one realized that that worked to make me want love in any way I could get it and did - really well- I know it doesn't make sense that it works that way with some kids but it sure did with me....
People that don't supervise their kids are just asking for trouble... and so many people just let their kids be on their own a lot- I think thats a lot of the problem too- no supervision- let them go wherever and no one checks on them... the school here was chalymidia (sp) I guess about 200 7 and 8th graders had it withen a 3 month period--- out of 280 in the school... they had to bring in doc and nurses to see all the kids and do the tests... I know some parent or another objected to his daughter having to be tested and it turned out she had it and something else too- dropped his threat of a lawsuit really quickly- health dept was called in to do the tests cause it was a threat to the community... makes me afraid for our boys- and boy you should hear me talk to them.... expecially the 17 and 15 yr olds.... now that their Dad is in Iraq and their stepmom is mostly in charge we worry alot- course Teresa is going down every other weekend to keep up with them - and let them know she is keeping tabs on them..
Nana


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Nana's15 #127273 Sep 10th, 2007 at 04:22 PM
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Nana, I'll bet that movie was about that school because everything you mentioned happened except they used syphilis. Just glad it wasn't AIDS.

I don't know why rape and molestation works opposite of the way we think it should but girls and boys who have been abused in that way are promiscuous a lot of the time instead being the other way.


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