A Gardeners Forum Forums General Discussion The Banter Hall When Insults had Class

** When Insults Had Class........**

These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to four letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.


The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were my husband I'd give you poison,' and he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it.'

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some
unspeakable disease.' 'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'

'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.' - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

(About Ernest Hemingway)'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.'
- William Faulkner .


(About William Faulkner)'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?'
- Ernest Hemingway

'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.' - Moses Hadas

'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.' - Mark Twain

'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.' - Oscar Wilde

'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend..... if you have one.' - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.


'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.' - Winston Churchill, in response.

'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' - Stephen Bishop

'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' - John Bright

'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.' - Irvin S. Cobb

'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.' - Samuel Johnson

'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.' - Paul Keating

'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.' - Jack E. Leonard

'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.' - Robert Redford

'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.' - Forrest Tucker

'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?' - Mark Twain

'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.' - Mae West

'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.' - Oscar Wilde

'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.' - Billy Wilder

'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.' - Groucho Marx

Those are good Tina!!

soooo true. I can bet most people don't even know what the f word means

some of those I've heard before but have forgotten. those are great! thanks for sharing.

Ive really enjoyed reading these, some I knew The others are refreshingly funny.

I've got a good saying that Johnny's ex wife just said to him. She takes care of ToDeTa for us sometimes and the other night she called him and asked where he was. He told her that he was going to the store to get me some Pepsi's and said "she's lucky to have me." Her reply was "and I'm lucky she has you too."

I like that, Sheri.

i've said that about my ex

'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.' - Mae West

that reminds me of what Johnny's mother said one time at the dinner table. His family doesn't get together much anymore because they always end up fighting - I mean REAL fighting - with knives and guns if they're handy. One night the neighbor called the police because a brother in law and brother were in the road - one with a shotgun the other with a machete. Anyway Johnny's mother said "I should have killed every GD one of you when you were babies."

I'm not sure where this one came from but I've actually used it on my brother once, ha ha.

It's better to keep your mouth shut and let people assume your an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

i've heard that one, and know several who should abide by it!


sheri, my great aunt used to say, when we would get on her nerves, "should'a pinched your head off when you were born and been done with it"

I like that one Jiffy. I'll bet Cindy's mother thought that a lot.

:ding:


You was lookin in on usuns ..........How is Kentucky ???????????????????????
Oh Cindy too!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to talk to rachel..........

Hiya