A Gardeners Forum Forums General Discussion The Banter Hall The thorn in my workday

I think the student had been outside running or playing hard and started coughing. The thing about that story which is sad is that I called her grandfather, who is supposed to be the responsible person in her family since her parents are whack jobs, and he never showed up after telling me he would "be right there." It was so sad because she kept saying to me he'll be here in a minute. She finally went to sleep and when I woke her because the bell had run and told her to hurry to class she didn't want to go because she still tought Ernest was coming. Jerk.

That is sad and I am sorry there are 'responsible' people like that.

Playing with kids minds isnt cool.

As an adult I never thought of myself as rich or middle class or well off or even thought about it at all. I knew, growing up, that we didn't have things that other people had, even food. My dad was an officer in the military, so he was paid. But he bought a new car every 4 or 5 weeks and I think he gambled. We always had a new car but never had decent shoes. My parents never went to PTA or came to ball games or classroom functions. I never had cupcakes brought to class for my birthday. My dad went to Vietnam twice and never sent home a dime, then went to Germany and that was the only time we didn't have a new car. He sold our new car and got an old car that would hardly work and went off to Germany for 3 years. So I knew we were bad off. When my girls were little and I started substituting in the schools is when I realized that I am what is considered well off by many. My children have always had shoes and clothes. Maybe not name brand, but they've been covered. They've never done without food or medical treatment for lack of money. I think everyone should volunteer in a school at least twice in their lifetime. It's an eye opener.

I did that often when son was there.....
Learned one thing.. More you do, more they wanted .(So teachers can do less)

Learned another thing.. Teachers look down their noses on helpers.. Were better than you ...

However in all my son was A student for 12 years and 4 years in college.. He didnt lack for love and attention at home.
Need I say more?

Happy mom /granny

Ps we think Haley is follow his path.

I didn't have a bad experience volunteering at the schools. Sorry you did.


If Haley takes after you she'll be a number 1 student for sure.

I have volunteered in Tristen's classroom quite a few times. It is really sad to see some of these kids. They are getting teased because their jeans look like capris or boys are wearing girls coats and so on. Some look like they haven't showered in a week and so on. It is really sad!! Last year at Grandparents Day there was one little boy in the room that didn't have anybody there for it. He cried because of it. These were kids in kindergarten. Tristen had a grandparent there but if none of his grandparents were able to make it...I would have been there because I wouldn't want him to be there without anybody. I guess we all have different thoughts and different situations. It is sad to see though!!

Volunteering in schools for me doesn't mean the teachers can do less. It usually means more hands and eyes so the teachers can actually get more accomplished. I have only seen the rare student who wasn't dressed appropriately. Actually only one I can really think of. And I could swear this girl was wearing the same thrift store ill fitting, pinned-together clothing her grandmother wore when we were in school together. There are benefits and drawbacks to living near where you were raised.

I volunteered at my girls school for more years than I can count--and then for a few years they actually hired me---until the budget said they could not afford me.---
and no the teachers in this school did not do less, it freed her up to do more with the students.--and then I was there--so the kids had 2 adults to ask questions and get help from. I really miss doing that--

Last Tuesday Colby had his kindergarten program and grandparents and parents were invited and lunch was also served. The parents had sent a pillow case and the students had made costumes out of them. A few of the students didn't have costumes because their parents didn't send pillow cases. A few of the students didn't have a sole there to see them in the play. My daughter says it's the same students all the time. No parent involvement no matter what the situation. I think it's sad and sometimes wonder what will happen to these kids. These I remember I was one of those kids and I turned out pretty good if I do say so myself.

sheri, i too was one of those kids with the ill fitting clothing. but my mother/grandparents (mom's parents) did all they could to "be there". that helped. of course, i had the absent father, and he wasn't military, and everyone knew we lived with my grandparents because we had to, but i think i turned out ok too!

If you folks feel so strongly for the forgotten kids .. Why dont you do something for them? Have a bake sale or something a buy them a coat or what ever they lack.

In our area we see no poor folks .....We tried to name some here, hd and I nope.

We had 10 in our family, wore hand me downs, had a 170 acre farm and raised everything by hand........We all survived........But werent afraid of work.
I milked 4 cows each morning before school and 4 after school...By hand.

We actually helped poor surive.

Think about how lucky you are.

barb, actually, i do. i am a lion, and our club oversees the gift of sight program to get glasses for children (and others) in our area who cannot afford them.

living in a city, or even a town, you see more poor people because city people have a different way of life. and it is easier to give a dollar than to take time to help. farm families and farm communities are just different. but even those end up with the widows who lose their husband to a farming accident, and then have the farm to deal with as well as the kids.

and, i did other volunteer work until i got to sick to do so. so now, i do what i can. but all the help in the world won't make up an absent parent to a child. not while they are still children. it is only when they become adults that the help means what it should.

Farm accidents are no different than car accidents.

Widows around her on the farms arent different.. They dont have to farm the land.
Just rent it out an live like a city folk.....You get big bucks for farms here.
However I have one neighbor whose daughter is daddys partner.....potato farmer.

Farm women arent stupid.

you are right barb, farm women aren't stupid.

barb at our church we do a food drive every year, and I participate in that.--also my DH and I always sponsor a child thru some Lutheran agency or another. (we are Lutheran)--one year we went late and there were 4 brothers left to last--so instead of taking 1 child we took all 4--and bought everything on their list.

I have helped my brother and his organizations with food drives as well.

I TRY do do for others----when/where I can..... :wink:

Our schools have food drives as does the post office a couple times a year (between holidays). We donate religiously. I give all of our outgrown clothing to a community center that gives it away free to needy children and adults. And collect gently used clothing from my friends and neighbors for the same purpose. We buy toys for local toy drives for this season. I think most do what they can when and where they can.

There are so many food , toy, and whatever drives in the area here.
Church, motorcycle runs, all for some good......

Once I like to see someone walk in the door an do their own thing where it is needed.
We also support single moms and babies.

Too many talk and not action........We have goodwills, salvation armys. You name it .

b

I think when busing started is when a lot of that helpfulness went away. Children don't go to neighborhood schools, at least in my area, anymore. They may not live beside who they go to school with. This school hasn't had a PTO or PTA in 3 years. Our town has a Christmas Bureau but it's for Christmas only. We used to have a food bank, called Loaves and Fishes but it's closed down for a while to re-group. That's where we sent people from the Health Department. There was no investigation into the people saying they needed food and the only restriction was they were to take for their own families for one week so everyone could have a little. It's been in place for 25 years and had never had a problem until 4 years ago. The Health Department got a letter saying that we could not give out their name anymore but the word was already out. A speaker came and told us that what had happened is that word had spread through the Mexican community and people were coming with SUV's and loading up all the food they could carry. Then they'd be back next week and do the same thing. It was first come first served and they couldn't keep food on the shelves. They closed about 2-1/2 years ago and haven't come up with a way to open back up and make it fair.

that is jsut bazaar---I came up with a way just sitting here in a few minutes.


instead of the peole "shopping--why noit just give each family so much when they come---the amount to be decided by the size of the family---up to a certain amout of people----that way "persons" could not come in and say they had very large familys when they did not---and the food shelter would not be taken advantage of.

oh well---it is sad how the few mess thingsa up for the many.

the organization here that my brother helps gets names all thru the year--and their are guidelines. They take donations and then the local grocery buys food(some perishabels are bought also) that they need to suppliment with at cost, with the donated monies. I think the small town of 1000 is up to between 25 and 35 families that quailfy.

and then one year--the same store was holding a free raffle for a kids bike around christmas. They noticed a small poor looking kid putting his name in. after a few inquiries and finding out how poor the family was-----they "just happened" to pull the kids name out of the box. I thinjk that is one of the nicest things I have ever heard of a store doing.

how do I know?? I happened to be in the right place at the right time.

Thats wonderful..

yes, barb I was impressed as well.

That is cool, Carol.

I do help too Barb but I can't help everybody. I donate to every thing that they have at school and our local stores whether it be a food drive or they are asking for hats and mittens.

Very good gals....

Thats the american spirit we are proud of ...

A good food pantry is a very well organized pantry.

One of the local pantries does a most excellent job giving food to about 80 to 100 families per week. They are highly organized and the rule is you can go there only once a month and you must show proof of income and family size.

They decide in advance what to give for each size family that comes and they also have a "menu". The volunteer sits with the person and goes through the list of choices (corn or peas; chicken noodle or tomato soup?). They also let the person pick between shampoo/bar soap, etc. These items are added to the items already bagged.

Then the person is lead along the breads and sweets aisle and can choose however many items from there as wanted. (These items come from local bakeries and bakery depts of the big stores).

Lastly, they are lead along a limited number aisle where they can choose from miscellaneous canned goods, produce, and household items such as light bulbs, trash bags, paper towels. The volunteers explain how many of each item they may choose.

In another area they have free tables. These tables are clothing, books, household items such as dishes or pots & pans.... items that have been donated to the pantry. During any holiday, these tables hold appropriate items.

It all flows very smoothly and works out quite fairly because the limits are determined ahead of time even though it runs on a first come first serve basis.

Merme

I didn't get to finish my thought earlier. Someone came into the health room and I never got back online.

I'm not sure why Loaves and Fishes was set up that way. It had been open for many years and I think it's the way things had always been done. It was manned by volunteers so maybe not much thought was put into a process that was working and when things went wrong no one took the initiative for whatever reason to rethink things. We, at the Health Department were very upset when they told us not to give out their name anymore but we weren't the ones donating our time. It was only open during the week during daylight hours.

Sad thing is that the church that at one time was bringing food bags to the Health Department stopped doing it about the same time. And the Espiscopal church that was also staffed by volunteers had similar problems as Loaves and Fishes and started monitoring things and decided to give 1 bag per adult person. My friend who volunteered there said basically the same as the man from Loaves and Fishes. People came and took and took and took and because they really didn't have rules the volunteers didn't feel that they could tell them they couldn't take it all. So the priest finally said enough and it will be 1 bag per adult person per month and they have to show some type of identification card. I don't know what the ID has to do with anything or if they check it if they come back or what.

In Monroe now I don't know where there is a food closet or whatever you want to call it.

I went to a Food pantry once when I lost my job years ago. They gave me about 7 things and a $5 coupon for milk. I appreciate what they do and I really needed the food but I could never have even halfway lived off that for a week. Mom took me grocery shopping that day and stocked me up.

The funniest thing was when Mark came down when we were dating and the only thing I had left was one can of corn. So I had it in the microwave and I was starving. I was planning on chowing down on that corn. I never took it out of the microwave, embarrassed to let him see me eating just corn. First thing he said to me was, do you want to get something to eat? I almost jumped up and down. After a few drinks I told him my food situation and he got all mad....why didn't you tell me? Then he took me food shopping. Thank God for mom and Mark back then.

Hope you didn't put the CAN in the microwave. You'd be telling a different story if you had.

when I worked at the HD one way I thought I could tell if a person really need food was when they came back for more and complained about what had been in the bag. "My kids don't like Cheerios. Give me Frosted Flakes." Was one thing we heard a lot. Or "we don't eat macaroni in my country. Give us tortias." I always thought if I was really hungry I'd eat macaroni even if I didn't like it.

I passed out food for the government programs before food stamps came out. Other than some of the regular staples I grew up with, I had no idea how some of that was cooked or used. My friend showed me a whole book of recipes that she had collected about how to use it all and then I started looking for comparable stuff in the stores to try the recipes out. That was a lot of fun. I love trying new stuff.

i was wondering the same thing.Can in microwave? Also wondered why Loz had only that and was living with her mom?
Was she in private place???????

I ?????????

Let us hope the corn was NOT in a can-----but that she meant it was the whole can of corn she was heating up.


and I think Loz was living alone, but near her mom????

yes, alone, but near her mom. just like now

No job? Why did she live alone if mom is there? Takes money to rent.

I can understand Loz only having a can of corn dodge. It's hard to tell people, even family, certain things. When Johnny was so sick several years ago, didn't work for 2 years, his insurance cancelled him and his medicine cost $1,096.00 a month, I didn't tell my family until we almost went under. I maxed out our credit cards buying medicine. Then I only told 1 sister. I had started selling my plasma to make gas money to get 2 and from work. I was working 1 full time and 1 part time job but had to quit because Johnny couldn't get out of bed or feed himself. It was awful. I stopped communicating with my family because I was depressed - I guess. Interesting thing though is that my family didn't try and contact me either. When the 1 sister told my other sisters my oldest sister said she wouldn't help me with anything until I went understand that my credit card problem was a problem because I was charging $1,000.00 a month on meds to keep Johnny alive. So I understand why Loz had 1 can of corn.

Yes, I understand all of that too. You do what you need to do and it still becomes overwhelming. I've been in a few bad spots myself. And not having the understanding family doesn't help at all. I do wish we had an easy fix for the health care system. A lot of the nations problems would be fixed then too; not all but it would be a major beginning.

Yep I understand too. When I first lived on my own I practically lived off of ramen noodles. Could have lived at home with my parents but wanted to do it on my own. I made it through it and think I am a better person for it. I value what I have now a lot more and can sympathize with others that have less a lot more now.

I have always said that my fondest memories were the hard times I overcame. Not really the hard times themselves but the 'coming out on the other side' feeling. Winning a major battle, overcoming the odds or problems life throws at you.
The saving grace in my life right now is knowing when we see this illness here through to its culmination, I will again have come out on the other side of another of life's battles.

I didnt start out living in paradise either.
Both my parents were dead by time I was 17......i had a younger sis an 12 brother.......I raised him till he was 16. Lived at the homestead with oldest bachlor brother, who contributed nothing.. Took the social security check , and I worked in a sewing factory to raise my brother and myself......

I got married when he was old enought to get a job and help himself. He has never regretting me being his sis and mom.

But god heard my prayer......I been paid huge rewards in heaven. Being on a farm and raising a garden did wonders for the pocket book.

what a life you've had dodge. I always thought your sister was older than you.